Roses
by LePetitPappillon
Summary: Sequel to Hot Tea. Set during the Austrian/Prussian war. Chapter 24 is somewhat...adult, but generally, it's rated T.
1. Chapter 1

I stood before my vanity, sucking in my reddened lips. My cheeks were flushed, my eyes brightened and my hair done up with roses scattered all through out it. A veil hung down my back. I was dressed lavishly in white and had pearls adorning my neck. How dollish I looked…

Music drifted all through out the mansion, stay notes landing inside my ears. He was nervous…you could even tell in his playing…I wanted to make him feel better, and I wanted to feel better myself by even just looking at him, but we were bound by protocol, and I was confined to my room. Italy was waiting for me outside to be sure I didn't go missing.

I looked outside, seeing my guard…oh, he had grown so much…

"Italy…you need to boy's clothes…" I told him in a whisper. He was nearly taller than I was and still dressed in those cute little frills of childhood.

"…But Hungary…boy's clothes are so uncomfortable…"

"Italy…today is my wedding…please, just for today…"

"…But…Who's going to watch you?"

"I can watch myself, dear…I promise, I won't go anywhere. Just go change! Everything will be fine."

"…oh…Well, alright, if you promise…"

"I promise."

Italy walked off and I watched as he turned he corner and made a break for it. I followed the music, leading me to his office, where I had been so many times before. Perhaps I could simply stand outside a while…it would be so much better than being so far away.

I leaned against one of the doors and listened for a moment, then, out of impulse opened it. The music stopped and he was staring at me.

"Lorelei! What are you doing?!" He closed his eyes and curled away from me. "You're not allowed in here!"

"…I'm sorry, Love…I couldn't stand anymore…" I took a spot next to him and let my gloved hands touch is shoulders. "…You look so nice…you even kept your little hair…" I embraced him. "I'm sorry…Your playing called me here…you sounded so troubled…I can tell…"

"…Oh, Lorelei…I'd be lying if I said I wanted to be alone…I'm so nervous…and you're so lovely…but you have to go. This is terrible luck."

"Since when have you believed in superstition, Darling? And…isn't the rule that you just can't see me? Just keep your eyes closed…and in a while…I'll go away…please, you're the only one who can make me feel any better." I gave him a demure kiss in the nape of his neck. "Get out of this ball you've curled into…"

Austria sat up and turned his face towards me, eyes still shut tight. There was a little smile on his lips. I pressed the pad of my index o them and was given a little kiss.

"You're so cute…" I traced his jaw line. "Can you believe we're going to be married so soon? I've been trying not to cry all day, I'm so happy…"

"Then maybe you should go before you ruin that perfect face of your, Lorelei…It's only for an hour more…I know you can make it…But seeing me is probably a bad thing…" One of his gloved palms found its way to my cheek. "…Besides…I just want to open my eyes and take you in…You look so gorgeous…"

"Well, I'll make it easy." I plucked the glasses from his face and put them onto my on, careful not ruin anything cardinal. "There! Now you can't see me and I can't see you….Goodness your sight is bad…" I was giggling. "…It's like an entire other world in here…"

"Oh stop. My vision isn't that bad…"

"It's like the inside of a fishbowl…"

He gave me a playful slap across the shoulder. I laughed. "Roderich…Teach me to play the piano…"

"How? I can't see."

"Here. You know this instrument too well." I took his hand and isolated his index finger, pressing a key at random. The note played out and finally died. "What was that?"

"…E."

"How about this one?" I selected another.

"…D."

Another.

"…F…I think."

"I don't know…It's just a bunch of white keys to me." I took his hand to myself and removed his glove, those lovely fingers visible again. I kissed his thumb.

"…Lorelei, You've already stolen my glasses…"

"Then we can trade." I slipped his spectacles back onto his face and looked over the fabric in my hands. "…You look so nice…"

"How is this trading, Love? It seems like you're just stealing parts of my outfit."

"Oh!" I smacked his arm with the glove and regrettably gave it back. "Fine."

He was laughing. "What a silly Lorelei."

"Mmm…" I tried not to kiss him. "Thank you…I feel better now…It's nice to have you calling me silly again."

"…I feel better too…even though you should really be locked away in that room of yours…Oh well." he adjusted his glasses. "There's no taking back what's already been seen."

I lingered there nearly twenty minutes before going back. I could hear the guests arriving…how noisy they were becoming.

Finally, the wedding began, and I waited for my time. The doors opened and I walking with my flowers in hand. I had no bride's maids, or anyone to give me away, but I didn't care. My husband was waiting for me…

We listened to the priest. We said our vows. We kissed. Everyone cheered and we went away. The reception started. We all changed rooms.

We were seated at the head table, the last ones in. Our hands were wrapped around each other's under the table and we exchanged kisses on the cheek quite often. I even took a moment to play with his stay lock of hair. It was as if no one existed besides the two of us.

Finally, the wedding ended and everyone went home. It was late and the moon was high over head with the stars dappling the sky. We were lingering outside, looking up at the sky.

"What a lovely day…" My husband said. "That was fun, Lorelei." I received a kiss.

"The fun hasn't started yet, love…" I returned the kiss. "Come on…it's late…and I don't want it to be too late…" I winked and he smiled.

"Alright, come on." He took me from my feet and carried me back to our new room, which was larger than either of our old chambers. We were giggling the entire way there. I opened the double doors and he walked in, lowering me onto the bed. The first things to come off were my shoes.

"Look at you! You're so silly! Taking off my shoes first…"

"Oh? Why is that silly?" he put them near the bed, one next to the other. "I'm saving the best for last."

"Oh, I see, you naughty man….well, before you do, let me get all of these stupid flowers out of my hair."

"Why?" He was pulling off his gloves. "Leave them. Your hair is wonderful like that."

"Darling…" I sat up, starting to pull away roses and hair pins. "It'll be hell to try and get them out when my hair is a mess tomorrow morning…it's even hell now…" I wet to my old vanity, which was sitting against the east wall. He followed me.

"You have so much hair…" He began pulling away pins. "This will take an eternity…" I large stand fell and rested against my back.

"No! Look! You already got one free." I pulled away another mess of petals. "We'll be done in no time, I promise."

He took a clip out and handed it to me. "Thank you."

Nearly fifteen minutes later, we finally had everything out, and my vanity was flooded with petals and pins. I sighed, looking at myself. "This mess!" I grabbed at a brush and he stopped me by the wrist.

"Love! I don't care! Please, come back to bed."

I put the comb down. "Really?"

"Yes! Really! You're lovely!" he kissed me.

"Thank you, darling."

He walked me to the bed and instead of putting me back; he began untying me where I stood. "All of these frills…" We slipped the main part of the dress of, and then my petticoat, which came in several layers. I lied down as soon as I was nude. Our new bed was so soft… My love was smiling and undressing himself.

"Do you remember the first time we did this?" His blouse came off. "You were wearing white, just like you were today."

"I was, wasn't I?" I smiled. "…You looked handsome then too…but you're always handsome."

He gave me a little grin and removed his own shoes. "I'm glad we're married, Hungary…" His trousers found their way to the pile of wedding garments on the floor. "I love you…" his hands brushed past my legs with his fingers.

"I love you too…Come here…"


	2. Chapter 2

I was curled up next to my husband in our new bed, our lips touching gently.

"…I love you." I said. I had just woken up and my eyes were misty from passionate tears I had been crying. I loved this man so much…and he was permanently mine.

"…Oh, Lorelei…Please don't cry…" He kissed me softly and wrapped his arms more securely around me.

"I know…I'm just happy…" I pressed my lips to his and we became a little closer.

We were there for a while before he got up, sitting at the edge of our bed. "…I'm sorry…" He said. "…But…I really have to get to my office…" His glace was cast to me. "…You know we're getting a new duchess…" he sighed. "…I have a lot of accommodations to make…"

"…Let me help you…" I said. "…At least that way we can spend time together…and the work will go twice as fast…"

"…Oh, Darling…I feel terrible…We've just been married and now work is eating me alive again…I couldn't ask you to get involved too. That's even worse. You should be relaxing…"

"…It's alright…I'll just wonder around in our gardens a while before I get bored and come help you anyway…" I sat up in our bed, my hair curling around me. "…And you can always take a little break and come with me…"

"…Well, alright…but please don't feel obligated to do anything. I'll finish as fast as I possibly can and we can have a nice evening together…"

I was a bit disappointed he had to work, but I married a busy man, and I knew something like this would occur when I stepped into our marriage. We had been expecting the new duchess for a long while. Perhaps we had planned our wedding poorly around it, but it was nearly the only time available…

"That would be lovely…."

For the firs half of the day, I lingered in the gardens, looking at all the lovely flowers. It was a good time of year for the roses. They were doing well, and they looked full and healthy. I plucked a bright pink one and put it with my locks, which curled past my shoulder. It was still a bit of a mess from yesterday, but it had an effect of elegance because of the shape it still held. It's difficult to undo such complex curls…

And, around two, I went to visit my new husband. I brought him a rose I had found interesting. Among many pale yellow flowers, there grew one rich crimson red rose. I simply had to pluck it and bring it to him. It was resting in a small bowl of water, which I placed before him on his desk before him.

"Goodness…Where did you find this?" he picked up the flower from its home and held it close to him, looking at it skeptically. He plucked a petal. "…Those bushes never grow roses like this…"

"That's why I brought it to you…isn't it lovely?"

"It's certainly interesting…" he placed it back into the bowl. "…Where was it?"

"…With the yellow roses…it was so odd…I had to pull it out…I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's too much of an anomaly to leave alone…" Austria smiled to me, his lips pressing against one another. "…Come sit with me…"

So, I did. I sat directly on top of his lap and gave him a kiss in the center of his forehead. "…Poor Roderich…sitting here all day…" Another kiss was lied upon him. "...Are you even close to being done?"

"…Well, closer…"

"…Mmm…they're working you too hard…why don't you take a break and eat lunch with me? I know you haven't eaten anything yet…"

"…Oh, Lorelei…"

"No…Don't start that way…I already know what the answer is…" I put my feet back on the ground and pulled him from his chair. "…Only half an hour…Then your other love can have you…"

"…There's only two loves in my life. You and music…and I assure you, you're first…" He kissed me. "But these papers…They're nothing but obligations…I'm sorry you're bored, Love…"

I sighed. "And I'm sorry your stupid work can't give you a break…come on…just thirty minutes…that's all…I know you're hungry…"

He bit in his lip, looking back at the hellish stack of papers occupying his desk. The wooden top could hardly be seen. I wasn't sure what was done and what still needed to be done.

"…Alright…" He sighed. "You win, but I really can't take more than thirty minutes."

"Thank you!" I gave him a touch of my lips, and we went away from his office and into the kitchen.

Most of the week worked this way. I was less bored and more worried if that husband of mine was getting adequate rest and food. I would bring him in lunch and dinner, sometimes even breakfast when he decided not to show up.

When he was finally done, it was Friday, and he was so exhausted, I could hardly get him out of bed. The duchess was arriving Monday, so at least I would get him for a few days before he became busy again. Teaching her how everything ran would be time consuming, and something I couldn't even touch…

My poor love.

When he finally woke up that Friday, it was nearly ten, which was horrible timing for him. He almost always was gone before I was even up, and occasionally, I would watch him the leave the room at the crack of dawn…

"…Oh…Darling…" I was playing with that loose strand of hair. Austria sat up and reached for his glasses sitting on the night stand.

"…Good morning…"

"…Please go back to bed…" His hair was in disarray and he had bags sagging beneath those lovely eyes. "…Have much sleep have you gotten?"

He expelled a breath of air and leaned his head back, morning light seeping in all over his pale skin…even if he was ragged, he was still handsome. "…Not much…"

I lied back down myself. "…Come on…You're done, aren't you? Please…Just sleep a little longer…I've barely seen you…and you can finally relax with me…You're exhausted!"

His back touched the sheets. "…You're right…" It seemed as soon as my husband closed his eyes, he was back to sleep's hold. I did the same myself, after kissing him 'good night'.


	3. Chapter 3

On the day of her arrival the entire country seemed to be preparing. Our mansion was in a fuss, especially since we were holding a ball to welcome her. I spent my day looking my best. I could no longer look nice as a maid. I had to look nice as a wife of an aristocrat, which was a completely different process.

I selected my best outfit, and before even putting it on, I bathed, having my nails fixed and my skin scrubbed by several servants. My hair was cleaned at least three times through and as soon as the towel was wrapped around me, I taken to a different room to be dressed. The only break I got between all of this mess was the time when I was waiting for my curls to dry, and as soon as they were, I was pulled away in a different direction by a group of other people and they were even rougher than the last. It was almost worse than my wedding day. I wasn't looking forward to yanking out all the flowers and pins and clips and whatever else they shoved in my hair. Finally, when that was done, they allowed me to take a moment to breathe while only one woman came in and applied my colors. My face was powered and my eyes were radiating. I often found myself sighing.

"Lorelei, are you almost ready to go?" My husband came into our room, adjusting his outfit. He seemed to be in just as much of a fluster. "You look wonderful…as usual…" he kissed my cheek.

"…Oh…I'm so nervous…How am I supposed to act? I'm so used to handing out glasses instead of taking them…"

"Just be a very polite version of yourself…you'll do fine." He gave me a little smile in the mirror.

"…Thank you…" I rose to my feet and he took my hands, kneading his fingers into them. "…Love?" I asked.

"Yes?"

"Will you show me how to dance again? I still feel like I have no idea what I'm doing…"

"Of course…"

Austria placed his hand on my hip and mine to his shoulder, our remaining fingers intertwining. Slowly, we began moving together, our feet moving in patterns around the room. We incorporated turns and I tried so hard not to step on his feet…

"You're doing fine…" He had come to a stop and he touched my cheek with an open hand. "You're worrying for nothing, love…" I was given a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you…"

Finally, we all flooded into the ballroom and still, there was no duchess. Everyone didn't even seem to care. They all mingled amongst themselves and took glasses of champagne from shiny silver trays. I was with my husband, who was doing the same.

"Roderich…" I whispered. "Where is she? She's supposed to be here, isn't she?"

"She is, she just hasn't come out yet." He told me. "I'm going to give a speech and she'll come in after that…"

"Oh…"

My husband attracted the attention of someone else, and we were dragged into another conversation. I felt as if I was a doll, only there to look pretty. I had nothing to say to anyone. I mostly just nodded and smiled…the words that were coming from their mouths all seemed to blur together.

At one point, my love went away to prepare for his speech and I found Italy, wanting someone to talk to. I knew what his life was like…at least we had something in common.

"Hungary…Why was everyone telling me to wear boy clothes?" He was adjusting his outfit profusely.

"Because, you're a boy…" I was giggling. "You really do look nice…"

"But it's so uncomfortable…and I have to hold his tray so I can't fix it…Austria said that if I was always messing with my outfit while handing out these drinks, I would make him look bad…I told him I would wear a dress, but he said that would just make him look worse." He sighed. "I just want to go to my room a draw…I'll probably end up dropping them all over some lady and get slapped…"

"Oh, don't say such things…" I took a glass from his tray. "You're doing great! Besides, it's only for a little while longer…maybe a few hours…" I kissed his cheek. "Don't worry."

"Oh…Thanks…" His cheeks lit up and all the talking was silenced. Our attentions were drawn to the front of the room, where my husband was. He began speaking. I could barely hear.

After he finished, the woman we were all waiting for came in. She was a lovely little thing with blond tresses and a pretty face. She looked to be a kind and dutiful woman. Everyone was cheering for her. She took a place next to my husband and they exchanged a few inaudible words. She introduced herself as everyone watched in silence as she spoke. For a moment, I felt jealous.

Suddenly, the doors opened and a man entered who looked like he had just come in form outside. His clothing wasn't that of this ball. He was a messenger.

"Austira!" He said, approaching the two of them.

I followed him to the front of the room. People were gasping as I pushed my way through them. The man handed my husband a letter and he began giving him a hard time.

"How could you just interrupt? Is this so urgent that you couldn't wait for ten minutes?"

"…Sir…it's from Prussia…"

"Prussia?" He tore opened the letter, forgetting his nagging and dropped the envelope onto the floor, beginning to read it over as everyone watched with anticipation. The tension was so thick it could be seen drifting through the air…

Austria dropped the parchment after reading it, and the duchess picked it up, reading it for herself. My husband had a look of terror on his face. Something was terribly wrong, and it was obvious…

The blond woman let her hands fall and shifted her eyes to those little shoes she was wearing. "…Well, everyone…It seems like it's good I got here when I did…Prussia has declared an invasion…"

The entire room was dead, and for a moment, silent. And of course, the panic set in. Voices broke out and didn't seem to stop.

"Everyone, everyone! Please, calm down! We're going to handle this, and everything will be fine!"

And yet, the nervousness only spread and became worse. I stepped to my husband, who was still mildly incapacitated.

"Everyone!" I yelled as loud as I possibly could. "Everyone!"

Finally, their voices drifted away.

"Have a little faith! These people have been trained to handle a situation like this, and they have several times before! Panicking is going to do no one any good! All of you need to calm down, and start thinking about what we're going to do as a country! Let this woman speak!"

"Thank you…" The duchess said. As she began telling them all sorts of reassuring words, I took my love by the arm and we left the room. We escaped into the hallway and he looked at me, eyes solemn "…Hungary…"

"…Austria…" I said softly. I wasn't sure of what other words I could possibly use. "…Why don't you come to bed? No one is staying for a ball when there's this kind of news spreading around. You need to sleep…"

"Alright…"

I knew this situation was terrible. Prussia seemed to be getting stronger and stronger everyday, and I knew my husband wouldn't let him in without a fight…this would end in a war, and we both knew it. Perhaps it wasn't certain, but I knew words couldn't stop an invasion. People would die, whether we went to war or not…


	4. Chapter 4

The morning was nothing but surreal. Everyone was floating around us, no words being spoken. My husband was quiet, I was quiet…The only words were written on a piece of parchment, trying to reason with the tyrant Prussia.

And as soon as that was done, troops began gathering all across the country. My husband even began picking out guns. I was given a hand gun and a solemn message.

"…Love…I'm not sure how things are going to turn out, and you need to be careful and protect yourself…Don't even let this leave your sight. Hide it in your clothes, under your pillow…wherever you possibly can…"

I knew how to shoot a gun, but had never done so with the intention of taking a life. I looked it over…It was shiny and probably hadn't even been used yet.

"If anyone tries to hurt you, kill them." He instructed. "Because I assure you if you don't, they'll kill you…"

I felt sheer power in my hands…I didn't want such a decision…How was I to play god? The metal in my hands brought me fear…Maybe I could even take my own life, and completely by accident.

"Lorelei…You understand don't you?"

"Yes. I do."

"Good…make sure to practice…"

I was left, the gun growing heavy in my hand. This was no toy…

Just as promised, Prussia invaded later that week. Our town became nervous, and there were rumors of people fleeing. I wanted to go home, but I wouldn't leave my husband, even if this truly wasn't my country.

Instead, I practiced with my gun, just as I was told to. I didn't kill any animals; I only practiced shooting at plants in a field outside our mansion. The first time I pulled the trigger, my heart raced. I was nervous, even though I was shooting at nothing with absolutely no one around. Once before in my life, I had fired a smaller caliber gun…and the same feelings came back as the bullet breezed through the air.

Once the shot was out, I looked at the gun, studying it over. It was almost a wonderful feeling…I was dangerous now…but still, I was somewhat shaken. I could kill.

I aimed it at a tree this time, and again, my finger pulled the trigger in. It left a little indent in the trunk. Sap was pouring into the hole…

At the end of the day, I was out of bullets and the tree was plentiful with holes.

The upcoming war had an effect even on the servants, who seemed to be paranoid just cleaning. They were afraid to even open the door when someone knocked upon it. One day, a yelling man was outside the door. No one would even lay their hands on the knob. I pulled my weapon from a layer of dress and hid it behind my back. I was the one to open the door.

"Bloody hell!" There was a blond man there with large eyebrows and an upset expression. "What's wrong with all of you?" He asked. The man came in with little to no grace. He removed his hat to show a messy scalp. His hand grazed through it and my husband appeared.

"England…"

"I was standing outside for nearly five minutes!" He looked to me. "…What are you hiding behind your back?"

"Nothing at all." I answered.

"You'll have to excuse them…" He said. "Please come with me this way…"

The two men walked off and the maids all looked at me.

"Hungary, where did you get a gun?" One asked.

"…Austria gave it to me…" I tucked it away and made my escape before any more inquiries could reach my ears.

Austria and England were sitting in his office. I simply walked in and was ignored. They were discussing the war at hand. Finally, their attentions were given to me.

"…Who is this?" The bushy eyed man asked him quietly. "…I think she was going to shoot me earlier…"

"This is my wife, Hungary…Hungary, this is England. He's going to help us…"

"I'm going to kick some Frenchy ass, that's what I'm going to do!" He shook his head and cleared his throat. "Excuse me…I heard you've gotten married recently. Congratulations…Prussia really picked a shitty time to pull something like this…"

"Yes…" I sighed. "But it can't be helped…"

He nodded and they continued conversing I still stood there.

"Love, do you need something?" Austria asked me.

"…Yes…I…needed some more bullets…"

"…I knew you wanted to shoot me…"

I let England's comment be.

"I'll get you some when we're done here…"

"Right, thank you…"

"Wait…Let me see your gun…"

I pulled it from my frills and it on the table before the blond man. He looked it over. "Wow…" He pointed the barrel at the door way and shut one eye, and before we could all panic, he handed it to me. "It's a good gun…"

"Thank you…"

Before I left, I couldn't help but notice the crimson rose I had found on my husband's desk. It was falling apart, and a few petals were drifting in the water…but something about it was still gorgeous…It only brought in thoughts of death…


	5. Chapter 5

Within a week, we were going into our first battle. My love was up early in the morning of his departure, adjusting his uniform in the mirror leaned against the wall. I sat in my bed, watching him, my heart sinking.

"Roderich…" I left our bed and joined his reflection. He was so handsome wearing his uniform…it almost made me forgot where he was going. Austria turned towards me, offering a forced smile. My eyes were brimming with tears.

"You better not die our there…" I told him, wiping my eyes. "Come back safe…"

"I will, Love…" He kissed me. "I promise; I'll come back."

We embraced a long time before he went outside. Tears were flooding my face with little remorse. Before he was abducted by that god awful carriage, he kissed me and wiped away some of the water stuck to my cheeks.

"Be safe, Lorelei. I love you…"

"I love you too."

He walked away form me, entering, and looking at me through the window. The carriage began to move away, and I watched as he was taken down the path. I waved, unable to see his lovely face because my eyes were so blurred.

My husband was going to fight and possibly die. I collapsed in the dirt; my knees pressed against the gravel and clapped my hands together, my fingers intertwining. I began to prey aloud, my arms trembling. The words coming form my lips were slurred, but all of my feelings and hope went into them.

Since Austria had left, the duchess had taken to his duties. I knew she was working diligently because I hadn't seen her wondering around for days at a time. Whenever I walked by the office, I could only hear the scratching of a pen and sometimes a soft voice asking for something to drink.

Finally, I went inside. She didn't even seem to notice my being there. I walked to her desk, and she glanced up at me, only to go back to her papers a moment.

"Hello, Mrs. Edelstein…How are you fairing?"

"I'm well, thank you."

"…Did you need any assistance?"

"No. I came to keep you company."

She put her pen down and made direct eye contact with me. "Oh, how kind of you! I've wanted to rip my air out with all of these papers! Your husband's job is so difficult! I'm surprised he isn't bald by now!"

I couldn't help but laugh. "I am too…He's always so stressed."

She put her pen on one side of the desk and asked. "Would you like to have some tea? I've been here for nearly five days straight and I can't take anymore."

"That would be very nice…" I answered. The poor woman…

"Thank you." She stood up, her frills and tresses bobbling in disarray. We walked together to the dining room.

We sat together conversing with one another for about an hour. She was a very nice woman, and my assumptions had been correct. I was happy because she was the type of person I would have liked to have as a friend. Unfortunately, she had to return to work.

When I wasn't with others, I was preying by my bedside for the safe return of my husband. I worried so heavily about him. Prussia truly hated him and he would take his life without hesitation. I even preyed for the sake of his glasses. He would be in great danger if he couldn't see…

And when I could, I spoke to Italy.

"Hungary…I have to work…Austria will be upset if he comes back and his house is a mess…"

"I know, but he's not here now, and he would let you take a little break to keep me company…"

He was like my little my little brother and I hated it when he was too chores…I would feel guilty if I went too long without speaking to him.

"Well…I suppose I could…"

"Thank you…"

I enjoyed being outside with Italy. He always found flowers in which we could decorate the mansion with…I began thinking we raised to be too feminine, but there wasn't much there could be done to remedy that.

"Hungary…"

"Yes?"

"…I haven't told anyone else this…So please don't say anything…but Spain has been sending me letters."

"He has?"

Spain was in alliance with Prussia…I doubted there was good coming from his influence.

Italy nodded.

"What has he been saying?"

"He…wants me to join him…" He wore a miserable expression, one that seldom could be caught on his face. "…I don't want to…and I keep telling him that…but he keeps writing…" Italy bit his lip. "…My brothers have never really cared about me before now…and it's nice to have someone writing after all these years…but I hate fighting." His eyes were becoming moist.

"Oh…" I wrapped my arms around him. How painful it must be. They were only pretending to care so they could use him…and he knew it. "It's hard for all of us…but you can't give in. Don't open them anymore."

"Thanks…" He sniffled. "Please don't tell anyone…They'll think I'm a traitor and I'll be exiled."

"I won't…I promise; I won't…"

Once I knew his secret, I noticed the letter carriers more and more. They were here almost constantly asking to see Italy. The letters never had any return address and came in fancy envelopes. I asked to see one.

"I'll give it Italy…" I told them. "He's out at the moment."

"Oh thank you. Please don't forget."

I took the letter and tucked it in my frills, near the gun Austria had given me. I headed to my room.

The seal was burgundy with a sort of crest resting in the center. I felt guilty opening a letter that wasn't mine, but I wanted to know what these tyrants were telling him. My thumb slipped under the seal and neatly broke it. I removed the paper inside, which was carefully folded. I read it over.

It really didn't seem all too suspicious. Spain asked how Italy was and told him everything that was going on his side. It was…normal. At the end, all that was written was: 'please come visit. I'd like to see you again sometime soon, and so would your brother, even if he won't admit it.' I sighed. Quiet propaganda… I put it into my own letter box.

And time passed…Everything seemed to become mundane.


	6. Chapter 6

"Move, Move!"

I watched as they dragged a man into our home. His face was covered with bruises and blood…He was hardly recognizable...His hair hung over his eyes and his uniform had been tattered and dirty. The moved down the halls…

The two solders walked a very long while before entering a room and closing the door on all the people they had attracted. I began to panic. Could it have been my love? My heart nearly stopped when the thought ran through my mind. Again, I began to prey, along with everyone else standing before the door. Tears ran down our cheeks. We didn't know who this man was for sure, but we all wanted him to live…

That night, I went to bed, and gave the heavens another prayer of mine. I preyed that the man wasn't my beloved, and that whoever he was, that he would be alright. War was such a horrible thing…

That morning, Italy was near my feet. He had solemn eyes that had been reddened. He wiped his nose before speaking.

"He's…alright…"

"…Was it?"

He nodded and I sprang out of bed, following the trail I was yesterday. I opened the door to his room without knocking, becoming somewhat disoriented. Again, as they had been when his war began, my eyes filled to the brim with water.

There he was, beaten and wrapped in bandages. His eyes were closed, and he looked so very peaceful. The glasses usually placed so carefully on his face were gone, and his lips, now battered, were open slightly.

"Roderich…"

The two men looked at me, then to one another.

"…He's alright…But he's resting…"

My world was fading in and out, but I made my way to his bed, sitting by his side. My mouth was covered with my palm, and I began to cry intensely. My sleeping love didn't even wake up.

"You're alive…You're alive…Thank god…" I wanted to wrap my arms around him…but I knew I would only hurt him. "Oh…Roderich…"

I stayed with him for nearly three days straight, watching him sleep and watching his magenta bruises fade slowly to a sickly yellow color. He woke up sometimes, looking at me for a moment, and then going right back to sleep. I always made sure to offer him the warmest smile I could muster. And every night, I preyed for him.

Finally, he stayed conscious for longer than a few seconds.

"…Lorelei…"

"Roderich!" We embraced only a moment before I pulled away, remembering his injuries. He moaned in pain a moment and then sat up, throwing the sheets form his bed.

"No, don't! Let me help you…" I supported him by letting him wrap and arm around my shoulder.

"Oh…Lorelei…" He coughed and looked at the door. "Will you take me to the bathroom?"

"Of course…"

When we returned to his room, I placed him back in bed, his feet over the covers. His back was leaned against the head board. He looked so different without glasses…

"…How are you feeling?" I was trying to control my tears.

"…I've…had better times…" He offered me a smile and I laughed, a few droplets getting free.

"It's so nice to see you again…" I wiped them away. "…Is there anything I can do for you?"

"…I'd…really like a piece of cake…"

I nodded and hurried out of the room, going straight to the kitchen and demanding they make a huge cake for him. I brought back with me a glass of water. I knew he was thirsty…

When I returned, he was resting his head against the wall, his eyes shut. I wondered if he had gone back to sleep, but his beautiful orbs looked to me when I entered. Roderich smiled weakly, wincing in pain a moment after that.

"Don't strain yourself…" I wiped away more salty water from my eyes, and handed him the glass.

"…Thank you…" He drank it down quickly and I finally broke. Happiness went through me like blood. He was finally awake and actually had an appetite…He would live…

"…Love…" I felt his hand on my back, shaking. I looked to him, seeing that he was holding out his hands, asking for a hug. As softly as I possibly could, I took his body into my arms and felt his weak arms around me. "…Have you been here the entire time?" He asked.

"Of course I have! I've been so worried about you…and now you're okay…" My lips touched his cheek and I cried. "…Thank god you're alive…Everyday, I wondered how you were…and I hoped that nothing like this would happen…but you're alive…and I'm so grateful I have you still…"

"…Lorelei…" I think he wanted to cry as well, but was too dehydrated to do so. "…I thought I was dead…"

"…I know…I thought you were dead too…but you're not…Thank god, you're not…"

I felt his lips softly touch me and more tears came. He was here…he was broken, but he was here, and he was alive…he would get better and I could still hear his music and still see his face…I could still speak to him…we could still be together and love one another…

He didn't stop kissing me until I let him back against the bed. His gorgeous eyes were a bit misty…one tear came onto his cheek, and I wiped it away, careful of the fading bruise. We smiled to one another.

As he was eating his cake, he told me about the things he had seen. Many Austrians had died, and he said he was lucky they took him back when they had. He could have bled to death.

"…Look at my leg…I got shot…" He said. "…It'll be a horribly ugly scar…You'll still love me, won't you?"

"Of course I will…" I looked at his calf, which was sealed with gauze and a bit of blood. "…Besides…you'll have something to gloat about, won't you? It'll be a battle scar…"

He smiled to me and ate a healthy fork full of cake. "Thank you, Darling…It's so nice to see you again…I missed you."

"I missed you too…"

"…How have you been?"

"…Things have been…paranoid…I think that would be the best way to describe it…" I looked back at his wound. How could I complain about anything? "…But we've all been okay. We all still have hope…Everyone is so glad you're alright…You've had a lot of visitors…"

"Have I?" He laughed and then grabbed at his side in pain. "I've been out the entire time…"

"Italy's been in here too…" I said. "…He would always end up crying whenever he saw you…"

"…Hmm…I'm worried about him…" His eyes shifted to the sheets he was sitting on. "I know Spain wants him to join his side…I wouldn't be surprised if he eventually got what he wanted…"

"…It'll all be alright…"

Suddenly, the door opened softly and the blond man from before came in. he was carrying his cap under one arm.

"…England…"

"Hello, Austria…Are you alright?"

"…Yes…I'm getting to be…"

"Hmm…" There was a long expanse of silence. "…Austria…I'm…" The Englishman pursed his lips together and moved his eyes away. "…I'm not going to fight anymore."

"What?!" I yelled. "Do you not see him?! We need your help!"

"I know! I just-!" He sighed. "…I can't be involved right now…I'm sorry…I feel terrible, but I just..."

"…It's alright…" Austria said. "…I understand…"

He nodded. "…I'm sorry, and I hope everything ends up alright for you…but I have to go…"

"…Thank you…" My husband said. The man nodded and left the room, the door shutting silently behind him. The hopelessness came in, even if the door was closed…For a moment, I felt chilled to the bone…


	7. Chapter 7

Things only become worse when England left, and Austria and I could only stand back, watching as out peaceful little town was invaded by Prussian soldiers. Worry came over us like a flood, and we began to drown.

I was especially concerned for my husband, who was still in the process of healing. He walked with a limp and if there was an attack…

I felt I had to help in some way, so I sent a letter to my home, asking for their assistance. I didn't tell Austria first. I knew he would just protest and tell me to keep my nose out of this. He worried for me, but I was just worried for him.

An answer didn't come. Instead, an army of Hungarian soldiers arrived one morning before the west balcony. Italy came into my room, claiming I needed to see something. He brought me to them, with my husband and the duchess looking down at them in shock, we were all standing on the second level.

"…What is all this?" He asked me. Instead of answering, I called out to them in my own language.

"Hello everyone!"

They cried back.

"Thank you all very much for coming! We really needed your help! Incase you haven't noticed, those Prussian bastards have taken over our town! The first thing I want you to do is get them out of here!"

"Hungary!" Someone yelled to me in the front. "We already did!"

"Oh…well, excellent job! I'm going to talk to Austria and we'll figure something out! Until then, you can all go into town and make sure everything is in check!"

"Right!"

I saluted to them and they saluted back. I walked back into my home.

"Hungary! Please tell me what's going on!" My husband nearly demanded. "Who are all of those people?!"

"They're the Hungarian army…" I told him.

"What?! Why didn't you tell me you were asking for help?! What did you tell them?!"

"I told them to run those Prussians out of town, but they said they already did…Everything is fine…Now they're going in to keep everything in control in case they come back…"

"Oh…" He seemed to calm down. "…Well…I would have liked you to have told me first."

"Why? So you can tell me to mind my own business? I knew you would just get angry with me for even saying something like that, so I sent them a letter…You would be even more upset if you told me not to ask for their help and I did anyway…"

He looked at the carpet a moment.

"This is excellent!" the duchess exclaimed. "We have help…I was becoming hopeless…"

My husband limped from the room, and for whatever reason, I felt guilty…even if I had done something good, I had upset him…

The rest of my troops came in, and joined forces with the Austrians. They were scattered through out the country, and slowly, we began to get a little bit of land back. Within a few days, they left the area, things becoming safe again. They were needed in other parts of the country.

But my husband was still upset with me…and I was upset with him…but getting to speak my own language again made me happy…even if it did bring back a few painful memories of when I first moved here. Still, it was nice to see a few of them, even if they left so soon…

"…Why are you so mad at me?" I finally asked him as he sat at his desk. "You're getting your country back. Would you prefer I hadn't called them in? We could have been dead!"

He had no words.

"…Dammit, have you not seen yourself?! You can't even walk! Do you know what would happen if we were attacked? You would probably die! Where would that leave all of us?!"

"…It's fine you helped…" He said. "I know I've become worthless, but this isn't just about your country anymore…You can't just decide to call in forces without consulting the other army first. I would have let you help, just as long as you weren't fighting…It's a big decision…It's not like it's a surprise present or something. This is war, Hungary. You have to be careful. Yes. Things went very well this time, but if you ever do something like this again, things aren't guaranteed to end well…It hasn't even ended yet…" He signed some sort of document and I just looked at him, unsure of what to say. He was so calm…

"…I'm sorry…you're right…I thought you were angry over something else…I don't know…Like maybe you didn't want my help…"

"Of course I do…I would take France's help at this point…my people are dying…I need as much help as I can possibly get…"

"…I'm sorry…" I told him. "…I know it's difficult…I just wanted so badly to help…you're right…" I felt terrible…I really should have told him…This wasn't a surprise present. It was a brutal fight to the death.

"…It's…alright…Things are better now…Thank you…"

I looked to my feet. I had behaved so stupidly…

We were quiet most of the day, and I was brought back to all of my own memories…I remembered my first day working in the mansion…He was so frustrated with me because I couldn't understand him…He eventually just handed me a boom and pointed to a hallway… How odd it must have been to see me giving out commands and not even understand what they were. I could have very well told them to start raiding the mansion and he wouldn't have caught on…

I remembered when I first spoke to him with a terrible accent…and having to repeat it several times…Luckily, there a few other Hungarian maids who had been there a while…they helped me learn…and now I had been here so long, I didn't have much of an accent at all…

Later that night, we went to bed together. Both of us were restless.

"…Lorelei…"

"Yes?" It was so nice to hear that word from him again. He was no longer upset.

"…Will you teach me a bit in Hungarian?"

"…Really?"

"…Yes…Just enough so I can understand what they're saying to me…" A few of the soldiers were still here, and I had to translate most of the time.

"Sure…I'll teach you tomorrow, if we're not too busy…"

"Thank you…"

"…It's nothing…"

Finally, after talking with him a while, we finally went to sleep, our bodies wrapped together. I was happy we were on good terms again. I hated when we were upset with one another, and since things were finally starting to look better, we could both sleep a little easier.


	8. Chapter 8

A few days past, and we received a letter with the same seal as Italy's. This one actually had an address. It was from Prussia.

Of course I wasn't the one to open it.

Austria was sitting at his desk, the duchess and I both standing near him. His thumb slipped under the seal and took out the parchment.

"I wonder if he's giving up…" He said, the letter unfolding into two pieces of paper. He read over the first one, then the second. He put it on his desk, his face suddenly in shock.

"Love…what is it?"

"Here…" He handed me the letter, and I read it over, my eyes searching over the pages quickly. The first page was just Prussia yapping about military plans, and the second was the one that he was so concerned over. Near the bottom it said: 'I'll call off the war if I can have your wife. If I don't hear from you in a few days, I'll come to your house and take her myself.'

I dropped it, my mouth agape. What were we supposed to do?

The duchess read it and Austria began writing words on an expensive looking piece of parchment. His pen scratched quickly, in desperation and perhaps even anger.

"…What are you going to do with me?" I asked. Would he really send me away?

"I'm telling him he can keep his stupid war. He's not getting his filthy hands all over you. Why would I even consider that?!" His pen nearly scratched a hole in the paper. "We're doing better. There would be no point and even if there was, I wouldn't."

"…This is terrible…" The duchess was looking at the both of us. "What an insane man…"

Of course, we sent my husband's response, and things went normally for a while. But, again, we slipped into the losing side, and I actually began to consider it…People were dying, and I could stop it. Austria and I would suffer…but we were only two lives. How many had already been lost?

Again, our town was taken over by soldiers in only three days. I was worried constantly over my husband's health…He would walk a little better now, but there was no running. He was still an easy target, and one many of them wanted to hit. I always had bullets in my gun.

We always went to bed tired and dejected…

Finally, they invaded our home.

It was late one night, and all of us had gone to bed. They broke down the door and rushed in. I woke up to the sound of breaking glass and screams.

"Shit!" My husband was up, already reaching for his gun. I pulled mine from under my pillow, nearly out of instinct.

"Don't! Just stay here!"

"So they'll kill everyone?!"

I looked to the door and heard more screams."

"Listen, Lorelei. You have to get out of here…" He loaded it and looked back to me. "They might try and abduct you. I have no idea what they have planed, so I'm going to open this door, and we're going to run towards the front of the house…you leave and run as fast as you possibly can…Find a hiding place…just get out of this house before they hurt you…"

"But-! That doesn't make any sense! Don't you think they'll be waiting for me outside?!"

Things grew quiet, and he called me over with his hand. He wrapped an arm around me and pushed open the door. We walked quickly together, unable to run. They had done a lot of damage already. Vases and paintings lied broken and torn all over the floors, even a few wet puddles of blood. I saw a servant, lying there, bleeding to death.

"Don't look, Lorelei…" He told me. "Just look towards door."

I nodded, panicking. I was shaking and my husband's grip around me only became tighter.

We finally got to the door, and he pushed me out. "Go! Find somewhere safe, and don't move once you're there! I'll find you in the morning!"

"Roderich!"

"Go!"

So, I began running and running. I felt my legs would collapse under me, but I kept running. I was in town, looking at everyone in the streets. There was no one. No civilians, no soldiers…no one. It was empty and dead as it could be. I stopped, finally looking around. I was near the out skirts of town now, and I saw a light coming from one of the bars…

I rushed in, bringing up my gun. Perhaps a few Prussian soldiers were here, drinking. It wouldn't have surprised me.

"Please don't shoot!" The bar tender had his hands raised and so did the one other person sitting there. I put my weapon by my side, finally able to breathe.

"…I'm sorry…" I sounded tired. I would have to explain myself later. "I-I just came from the mansion..." I pointed in the direction of my home.

"…Oh…You're Austria's wife, aren't you? What happened?"

I couldn't even explain.

"…It's okay. You can tell me later…Would you like a drink?"

I nodded and took a seat near the man who was there previously. He looked at me a moment, then ordered another drink. We had two large jugs of beer placed before us. I took one and drank it down as if it were the solution to all of my problems.

After a few moments, I was finally able to speak.

"…The Prussian soldiers came into our house…My husband told me run…" I was still in shock. "…And I came all the way out here before stopping…Sorry for pulling a gun on you…" I took another large drink and finished my beer. He had another one waiting for me.

"You ran all the way from your mansion? You can barely see it from out here…"

I didn't have a thing to say.

"Well, it's good to know you're alright…You can stay here. I don't have much of a bed, but I have a mattress at least…"

"Thank you…"

That morning, I woke up with a slight headache, and to the sound of people calling me.

"Hungary!" It sounded like a small group of people. I walked outside, still in my pajamas.

"There she is!" It was an Austrian soldier. "You came a long way out…"

"Is Roderich okay?" I asked.

"He's fine…He's just worried about you…"

"…Thank god…"

"You can come back now…They left…"

We all walked home together, two soldiers at my side and one at my back. I had a lot of time to think.

Innocent people died last night...and it could have been prevented if I just went along with Prussia. I could stop this…and not choosing to do so would be greedy…It was time to think about others. This war was far too brutal to continue…

When we arrived, they were collecting bodies in the front of the mansion, most of them caked over with dried blood and dead. The ones that were still alive were bleeding out and crying. One was shot straight in the forehead.

"Lorelei!" I was wrapped in my love's arms. "…Oh god…you're okay…I was so worried about you…where were you?"

"…I was..." I couldn't even continue. Instead, I cried. The weight of the world finally fell upon my shoulders and I realized what I had to do. Looking at those dead bodies was only a reminder…

"It's okay…You're alright now…" Austria was stroking through my hair and kissing me.

I was taken inside, and we sat on our bed together. He seemed troubled, but we all were. Bodies of innocent maids and a few soldiers were piled outside, and the entire house had been ruined. Seeing it in the light as even more unsettling. There was blood on the walls and floors and everything lied broken. The only place that was descent was our room, which had quite a few broken things inside. The only difference was there was no crimson adorning the carpets…

"…Love…we have to stop this…"

"I know…"

"I'll go with Prussia…" I said.

"…What?" He looked at me, his eyes full of shock. "Lorelei, you can't-!"

"But I have to! Look at all the people dead! We knew them!" There was a small silence. "…They were innocent…and they were brave for staying here, and now look at them…bleeding to death in the front yard and so beaten you can't even recognize them…and what did they do? They cleaned…they didn't fight, or even have weapons…they were just here, and because of that, they died…"

He was quiet.

"…I know it'll be hard for us…but…I'm beginning to think it's the only thing we can do now…We won't be together…but at least we'll still be alive…and maybe one day, we'll be able to see one another…"

"…Love…"

"…I'm sorry…what else are we supposed to do? I couldn't live with myself if I stayed after seeing something like this…"

And we were frozen, unsure of what to say next.

"…Is that what you really want to do?" He asked.

"…Yes…"

"…Alright…I'll write Prussia a letter…but I'll wait a day…if you change your mind…"


	9. Chapter 9

I didn't stop the letter from being sent, and one came back. It was addressed to me. I opened it before my husband and the duchess. It was very short.

'You made a wise decision. I'll be coming in two days to pick you up. Pack your things. I'll meet you in front of your mansion at noon.'

I handed it to my husband, and he handed it to the duchess. Silence befell the room as something fatal.

"…Well…let's start packing…two days isn't a very long time…"

"Hungary…"

"Let's go…" I said solemnly.

By the end of the day, we had a few suitcases prepared and a near half empty room. My husband gave me an envelope once we were done.

"What is this?"

"It's money. You might need it…"

I opened it, looking inside. There was a large amount. "Please…Don't give this to me…you need it more than I do…Your house…" I trailed off.

"Lorelei, please take it…I'll already be worried enough about you. At least this will guarantee you eating…"

"But…"

"Put it somewhere safe, please…"

"Alright Love…I'll keep it. Thank you.

We didn't sleep well that night and woke up n the morning tired.

"Lorelei…I love you…" he said to me before rising. We were both lying there, awake. "I'm not sure what I'm going to do when you're gone. I'll write to you, if I can…I hope he'll let you have my letters."

"…I'll write to you too….and I'll start teaching you Hungarian…Just like I said I would…" I offered him a weak smile.

His body went around mine. "I'm sorry…I wasn't strong enough…maybe if I wasn't so weak…I could have kept you."

Tears were coming. "Don't say that….You're doing your best…the only one there is to blame is that bastard Prussia…You didn't do anything wrong."

He kissed me, not having any words.

That day was silent…Even Italy was quiet. He spent most of time picking up the broken things, like most everyone who was left alive. Instead of cleaning, I went outside, looking at the roses for the last time. They were all crimson. I had to wonder if they weren't just coded with blood.

At night, Austria and I lied in our bed, and again, there was no sleeping.

"Roderich?"

"Yes, Lorelei?"

"I love you."

"I love you too…"

I sat up, looking over to him…Yes…This is the last night…I slipped the night gown from my shoulders. He caught on quickly and began removing his garments. As soon as we were nude, we kissed gently and passionately running fingers through one another's hair and licking each other's skin.

But it was odd in a way…I felt so very sad…My love wouldn't see me after this…and if he did, I had no idea when. I adored this man, and the thought of leaving him made my heart bleed.

When we had finished, I was in his arms, crying. We were still kissing, but I couldn't stop the emotions from coming out. I could tell he was in the same situation, even though our eyes were closed.

And that morning, we prepared. I wore a nice dress and even tied back my hair. We carried my things out and waited for Prussia to take me away. We were silent. Italy and the duchess joined us about an hour after we arrived, saying their goodbyes to me as well. I received hugs and a few kisses.

At twelve, just as we were promised, Prussia had come. It was the first time I had even come into contact with him…and I was extremely afraid.

He came out of the carriage, looking at us with a cocked head. He wasn't what I was expecting him to be. Prussia had nearly white hair and eyes a color I couldn't identify…he wore flashy clothing, a cape and a cap with a giant red rose clipped to it. If he wasn't such an evil man, I would think he was interesting.

"…You there." He pointed to me. "You're her, aren't you?"

"…That's right…" I nearly whispered.

"…Huh? Roderich, what's the problem over there? You're shaking…" He smiled, his lips forming a sick shape. "…Don't worry. I'll treat her very well. She's a pretty thing…" he was getting closer.

"Oh, shut up!" He yelled.

Prussia laughed, now standing right in front of me. He took me by the hand and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "Well, off we go! You new better life awaits you!" He dragged me back to the carriage. I was sobbing.

"Wait! Lorelei!"

I turned to look at him, and broke free of Prussia's grip a moment, and ran towards my husband. We embraced. I could hear the silver haired man sigh. My bags were being brought in by the man driving the carriage.

"Promise me you'll be fine."

"She will be."

"Promise me you'll take care of yourself…"

"Pff. He does that?"

"I love you…"

"I love you too."

"Alright, enough already!" Prussia complained. "I have other things I need to do!"

"Bye…"

"Good bye, love…"

I rejoined Prussia in is carriage and we sat next to each other. I looked out the window, watching as my husband disappeared into the scenery. I was crying a long time. Prussia was just looking at his view, probably wondering when I was going to stop.

"…Hey, It won't be so bad…I'll dress you nicely…and I'm not going to starve you or anything…" He turned towards me. "…Please stop crying…"

I only cried more. He sighed.

Eventually, I fell asleep. I only dreamt of my lost love, and I wanted him so badly to be alright…I wanted to be back in his arms…but I couldn't…this was so this war could stop…and I accepted it as my duty…


	10. Chapter 10

I was brought to a mansion late that night and given a room in which all my bags were placed. It was a bit smaller than Austria's, but still a vey good size. There were painting everywhere inside, and all of them featured Prussia in heroic poses, usually with a gorgeous woman. I wondered if they were all just made up.

My room was small, and had a double bed against the wall. There was a large mirror hanging, and a small stand near it. I suppose it was a make-shift vanity. The window had old curtains that were very lacey and full of dust. I batted at them with my hand and was covered.

"Sorry. No one's been in here in a while." Prussia was standing at the door. "So everything's really old…Hope you don't mind, because everywhere else is taken."

I didn't say anything.

"…There's some soup ready, if you're hungry…If not, feel free to roam around…or go to bed…whatever…" He stepped into the room and opened the closet, which was slightly dirty as well. There was an old dress lying on the floor. He picked it up, brushed it off and then hung it up. "…Well…"

"…What?" My voice was tired.

"Nothing…I'll see you tomorrow, I guess." He left the room and I looked around. Everything was so…old. Even the spare rooms in Austria's home didn't look like this, and he had many of them…not just one.

I decided to explore.

The entire house seemed to empty. Perhaps all the servants were asleep…but no one was about, and it just made this house so very lonely…

During my walk around, I bumped into someone.

"Oh, gosh! I'm sorry…" He had knocked me over then offered me a hand. "Are you alright?" This man was quite attractive. He had wavy dark hair and a handsome face. His skin was nicely tanned, and he seemed to be kind.

"I'm fine…" I was still speaking solemnly.

"…Hmm…Prussia doesn't usually bring back women…Are you Austria's wife?"

I nodded.

"…I'm sorry…It must have been difficult…making that kind of decision…but we're all pretty nice here…and Prussia isn't so bad…"

"…He destroyed my house and killed innocent maids…"

"Oh…"

"…Who are you?"

"I'm Spain."

"Spain…? Stop sending Italy letters…He knows you're just being nice to him so you can use him…He doesn't want to fight."

"…What kind of thing is that to say to someone you just met? I'll have you know I don't use anyone. I like Italy, thank you, and I want to see him. Is that such a problem?"

"…You're already winning…I don't see why you need him to be involved."

"I don't want to!"

"Then why do you keep bothering him?"

"Because I want to see him!"

I didn't say anything.

He was staring at me, and then sighed. "…Can we try this again? I'm Spain." He held out his hand. "What's your name?"

"I'm Hungary…" I took his hand, shaking it.

"Anyway, have you eaten yet?"

"No…"

"Well, you should…Food is good for you." He smiled at me. "…Come on. You'll feel better once you get something in your stomach."

I followed him off to the dining room, where everyone else was sitting. Prussia was at the head of the table, and a boy who looked exactly like Italy was next to him. It occurred to me that it was probably his brother…They almost looked like they could have been twins…

I sat down across from the boy, who looked at me a moment, then went back to piddling around with his spoon. Spain sat in the space adjacent to mine.

"…Well, look. She came." Prussia had a bottle of wine sitting before him, but there were no glasses. I assumed he was drinking the entire thing himself. And I was right. The silver haired man picked it up and gave it a good suck before he put it back down. He was mildly intoxicated. His cheeks were turning pink.

"…Well, I kinda ate most of the food, but you can have a sip of this." He held out the wine to me, but I ignored him. "Cold shoulder, huh?" Again, the opening of the bottle touched to his lips. "…Well, whatever. More for me."

Spain sighed. "…Did you 'kinda' eat all the food, or is all of it really gone?"

"No…there's still some." He pointed to a large pot sitting in the center of the table. There was a pile of three bowls next to it. I wasn't sure who the third one was for.

"Here…" Spain handed me a dish and a spoon resting inside the top one, then poured a bit of soup into it. There wasn't much left. The remainder went into his bowl.

I noticed the other Italy looking at me intently, but I ignored him as well. I was feeling numb enough to not care.

I sampled a bit of soup and had a hard time swallowing. It was fairly disgusting. Perhaps because it was cold, but I'm sure the temperature wouldn't have that much of an effect on the quality.

"Where did France go?" Spain asked.

That must have been who the third plate was for. I had forgotten he was working with them…

"I don't know." Prussia answered. "He'll go missing for days at a time, and he usually seems to come back in one piece…he probably went to go buy something…he's always complaining about how crappy his room is…It's not so bad…he's just a spoilt brat…" He drank down more alcohol.

"…Ah well…" The man sitting next to me took up his bowl and drank down his soup.

So, this was my new life. A drunken tyrant, a glaring boy, a pushy man, and France, a pervert…

I began tearing up again. Instead of letting my face contort, I simply let the tears flow. I continued eating my soup, which was making me want to throw up. They all seemed to be watching me, but I continued on. I imagined my love's arms around me in times like this, and how I might never have them again…It only made more tears come.

"…Hey…Don't cry…" Spain said, gently touching my back. "I know it's gross. The trick is to eat it fast…"

"It is not!" The boy protested. "I tried really hard!"

"…Romano…" The tanned man's attention turned back to me. "…Let's get you to bed…it's been a long day, hasn't it?"

We walked back to my room. The fact that this was going to be place of refuge truly bothered me…this dusty little chamber…what a terrible place…

I sat back down on my bed, and had Spain's arm around my shoulders. Perhaps he wasn't such a bad man…I had insulted him and here he was, trying to calm me down…

"Thank you…" I said through my tears.

"It's nothing…"

When I had finally gotten back to numb, he left me alone, and I went to sleep. I wanted so badly to get away from this reality…Maybe my dreams would give me back to my husband…


	11. Chapter 11

That morning, I opened my eyes to France smiling pleasantly at me.

"Oh, little rabbit…You've grown up so much…look at you…I'll have to change your nickname to Papillion…You were so cute before…but now you're simply gorgeous. Yes…Papillion will be a good name for you."

I rolled over, thinking that if I ignored him long enough, maybe he would go away.

"Oh…I know. I've done some naughty things before…but I only want to be friends…I'm flirty, but that's just me, non? I won't try anything, I promise you, Papillion."

I still didn't say anything, but instead of making him non existent, I gave him a glance. He smiled.

"Ah! There she is!" His face was glowing. "…Why don't you get out of bed, Papillion? I made a descent breakfast this morning…I heard about the soup last night from Spain…What a terrible first meal…"

"…It wasn't so bad…"

"…Hmm…Well, I still have something better for you. I made crepes. They have strawberries and cream all over them…Doesn't that sound nice?"

"…I suppose so."

"…Oh goodness…well, if you won't get out of bed, I'll bring them to you. I'll be offended if you don't eat them, but as long as you do, I don't care where."

"…No…I'll get up…"

"…Alright…"

I threw the covers from my body, still feeling as if I hadn't slept. I was dressed in my clothes from yesterday…a blue dress with white lace and frills. It only reminded me of him…

My feet touched the floor, and I walked to France, who was waiting for me, a little smile on his face. He opened the door for me. "Are you ready?"

"…Yes…"

And we went to the dining room together, France's arm intertwined with mine. I was sure my face was emotionless.

When we arrived, there was still a large amount of food left on the plate, and the blond man hadn't lied. There were crepes with fresh strawberries all over them and cream drizzled over the top. I hadn't gotten much food last night and it looked nothing but heavenly.

"Oh, I'm so proud of all of you! You actually left a little food for us!"

Prussia was sitting at the head of the table again, a big stupid smile on his face. "That was great! If you made stuff like this everyday, I wouldn't have to get drunk at every meal!"

"Hey…"

"It's okay, Romano. I'll teach you how to cook when I get the chance." Spain told him. I took a seat and he looked at me sympathetically. "Are you feeling better?"

. "A little…"

"That's good to know…"

I ate as many of those things as I could. I was so hungry from the previous night, and the fact that I was about to loose my very delicate sanity wasn't helping…

France was beaming the entire meal. "Oh, I'm so happy you like them. I was so worried."

Again, I didn't have anything to say, I just kept eating.

Spain laughed. "I think that's the best response…"

When we were finished we all went out separate ways. I headed back to my room. I wanted to write to Austria. I knew I had paper in one of my bags, and I was sure ink was lying around this place somewhere.

I unpacked, placing most of my things in a pile. Finally, I found the parchment. I placed it on my make-shift vanity and left the room, in search of ink and a quill. I ran into Prussia.

"…What are you looking for?" He asked me, following my foot steps. "You look pretty desperate. I could help you."

"…I want to write a letter to my husband…I need ink and a quill."

"…Why do you want to write to him? You should write a letter to me."

"I hate you. Why would I waste my time with something like that?"

"I don't know, maybe because I'm the person who's going to supply you with letter writing materials. I could always keep them to myself and make sure you don't get your hands on them so no one gets anything from you…But that's your decision to make, isn't it?"

I stopped walking.

"Look, this doesn't have to be unpleasant. If you want something you can ask for it, but you should keep in mind I can make your life hell if I want to. I'd be more than willing to help you, but why should I when you act like this?"

My lips pursed together and I looked at the floor.

"I don't plan on being cruel to you. I was actually going to take you into town so you can get some furniture…but I don't have to. It would be easier if I didn't…I can understand you being pissed with me, fine…but tell me why I should do any favors for someone who openly says, 'I hate you'? You could always buy your own shit with your own money and bring it all back home by yourself, if you'd prefer."

I didn't say anything.

"I thought so. Follow me. You can have a quill and ink."

We walked into is office, which was just as shabby as the rest of the house. I looked to the corner…there was no piano…How empty this little room was.

"Here…" He handed me a long feather and a well of ink. "No suicide notes."

I took them, wanting to scream. He smiled at me. "Goodness, woman, I'm kidding…If only I could have a painting of your face…I'd hang it in my room."

I tried to walk away.

"…What do we say?"

"…Thank you…" I was gridding my teeth.

"Good job!" He started clapping. "Meet me back here when you're ready to go, alright, Sunshine?"

I left the room.

I sat down before the stand and began scribbling a few words down on paper, mainly just questions. I told Austria about the shape of his home, and about all the others here…I also took a page telling him to take care of himself and not to worry about me. At the bottom, I signed my name and folded the two twin pieces of parchment together. I made a letter with one of the pieces remaining, and put it inside.

I thought it over a moment. I had to take it back to white-haired demon. I didn't have a seal or even something to hold my poorly constructed letter from falling apart. I sighed and returned to Prussia, who was still in his office.

"Oh, look! It sunshine! Are you ready to go?"

"I have to seal this letter…"

He took the mess of parchment from me and looked it over. "You could have asked for an envelope…"

"…Well, I made one."

"…I'll seal this when we get back…and then I'll send it to him for you…You have the address written on here…" He was looking it over. "…You have good hand writing, Sunshine…Maybe you'd like to write my letters…No one can read them…"

"…Please don't call me Sunshine."

"Alright, Buttercup. I won't. Let's go."

I wanted to cry.

He grinned at me and stood up, walking to the door and holding it open for me. He tipped his hat. "Right after you."


	12. Chapter 12

We were out most of the day, and I didn't ask for much of anything simply because I didn't want to talk to Prussia. Before we returned home with only one of things we bought (we would take the others later), we stopped outside a small stationary store. The white haired man stepped out of the carriage and at first, I didn't follow.

"I'm stopping here for you, buttercup. You'll need more paper, won't you?"

I exited myself and traced his steps inside, only wanting to go home. If we made this fast, I could do just that.

The store was actually quite nice. It was organized with paper on one side and quills and ink on the other. There were all sorts of parchment. Some had been saturated in different colors and were pink and green. Some of them even had little borders and light drawings on them, but those were somewhat pricey.

"Pick whichever one you want." Prussia told me. "Just…make sure it doesn't cost a fortune."

I looked over all the options, finding something simple with little musical notes doodled in near the bottom. I took a pile of sheets and brought them back to Prussia who was paying for a well of ink and a new white quill.

"These?"

I nodded.

"Alright." The parchment was put on the table and he pulled out a small bag of coins. Prussia placed a few on the wooden table top and the old man took them, smiling. The sheets I bought were slipped carefully into a brown paper bag and handed to me.

"Thank you…" I said, actually looking to my new owner.

"…Whoa…Seriously?"

I didn't open my mouth.

"…It's no problem…Let's go home…and stop glaring buttercup…"

On the way home, Prussia was smiling at me with closed lips. I was simply looking around. It made me mildly uncomfortable.

"…What?"

"…It's nothing, buttercup. I'm just convinced you're evil or something…You're so cute, but all you do is glare at me…" He laughed.

"…You're the evil one..."

"Why is that buttercup?"

"Don't call me that!" I yelled at him, not even wanting to explain myself. I was about to break.

"…Okay, Lorelei. I won't."

I looked at him, my eyes widening then turning my head away quickly, beginning to weep. That was it…the final push into the river. My hands covered my face, and I tried to stifle the sounds coming from my ugly lips.

"…Hey…" Prussia placed a hand on my back, and then one on my furthest shoulder, trying to turn me towards him. I wouldn't let him, so he simply held me. "…I'm sorry…Maybe I'm being too…insensitive…" His hand was tracing over my back and shoulder blades. "…Put your hands down…" I didn't listen at first, and he was patient. "…Please?"

I didn't at first, and when I did I finally looked at him, his face blurry. His fingers clasped onto the ends of his sleeve and he wiped my tears away with the fabric, surprisingly gently.

"…Sorry…please don't cry anymore. I'll try and suck less…You can come up with your own nickname so I don't piss you off…" He gave me a descent hug and I tried so hard not to push him away.

When we were back, I got out with my paper and went straight to my room. I locked myself away, just sobbing. I heard voices outside my door.

"Prussia, what did you do?" It was France

"I don't know…I just called her Lorelei like that stupid Roderich and now this happened…I was kidding."

"You idiot! I should smack you! You can't call her that! She's probably thinking about him all the time! You can't kid with someone who's upset…and it's your fault!"

"I know!" The voices were fading. "…I was just messing with her…"

"…Well…you can't."

"I know!"

"…She's in a lot of pain right now…" They were still there, but I couldn't hear them.

I didn't come out until dinner. I had stopped crying and had gotten to sleep a while, so I was feeling a little better, but not by much. Prussia wasn't there. I wasn't sure if he was feeling guilty or just didn't want to deal with me…Maybe we was just doing something else. Either way, I was happy he didn't show up.

This time, we were having some sort of meat. I didn't bother asking what it was. It would only bring disappointment and I really wouldn't eat…

The table was silent, but everyone was looking at me. I just looked back at them, wanting to say something, but the words just wouldn't form themselves. There was just a tangled web of emotions I couldn't disperse. I think they had the same problem.

Finally, when dinner was over, I stood up, but was stopped by Spain.

"…Hey…umm…is there…anything I can do?"

I was touched that he would even ask. "…No…I don't think so…but thank you."

"Alright…"

Before I walked away, I thought. "…Maybe we can go out…I need to get away from this place…"

"…I can do that…" He answered.

"Thank you…"

That night, I lied in bed, unable to sleep. My brain wouldn't shut off. I thought about how much worse this could really be…at least everyone seemed to care…Spain was a nice man…and France would make a good friend…maybe even Prussia could be tolerable after a while. But I couldn't forgive him for what he had done…

I knew I would get used to it…I remembered hating my husband at first…I thought he was simply a boring, stuck-up man…but then I ended up marrying him…It was hard to say what could possibly happen…I just hoped it would be good.


	13. Chapter 13

I had unpacked my things by the end of the week and was officially moved in. The room looked a little brighter after I batted the dust form it, and the new furniture added a nice touch as well. I was slowly beginning to feel better. I had even gotten my first letter back from Austria.

I opened it, looking at our little crest on the seal, and smiled. I pulled out the letter, which consisted of nearly three pages. My husband had very small hand writing. He obviously had a lot to say.

Instead of opening up with a greeting, he was telling me to leave Prussia's house as soon as I possibly could. He didn't uphold his promise and soldiers were still in the city. They had even burned a few buildings down on the outskirts of our town…I had come here for nothing.

As soon as I finished reading it, I marched into the white haired demon's office, slamming the parchment onto his desk.

"What is this?! The agreement was that if I stayed here you would call off the war! Why are buildings burning?!"

"…That was the agreement? Huh…That's interesting…" He took off his cap, looking inside and pulling away a stray thread. He tossed it to the floor. "…Hmm."

"If you're not going to call off the war, then let me go home!" I screamed. "Why should I stay when you're not holding up your part of the bargain?!"

"…You're not going anywhere." He told me. "You're going to stay here with me…"

"Really?! Because last time I checked, the only thing holding me here is an agreement which you broke!" I rushed out of the room and he followed me. I went back to my chamber, going to my closet and ripping things out from inside. They were going back into my suitcase. He simply stood by the door and watched, a stupid smile occupying his face.

I threw a bag together and tried walking past him. He stopped me with an arm.

"Let me go!"

"No!" Prussia picked me up and I struggled, but it was nothing. All of the blows I made didn't work. He just stood there until my limbs grew weak. "…Are you done yet?"

I was crying. "Let me go!" I made a poor fist and drove it with very little might against his back.

"Honey, you're barely leaving a bruise…"

I ended up dropping my bag onto the floor. It clicked open and clothes spilled everywhere.

He sighed, and I was still hitting him weakly. "…Look, you're not going to win. I'm a lot stronger than you are…You might as well stop before you tire yourself out…"

I stopped and wept.

"That's a good girl." He put me back on my bed, sitting next to me, grazing my back with an open palm. I slapped it away. Prussia didn't react.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked through my sobs. "There's no descent reason why you had to invade our country! It's not like Austria did anything to you! So why?!"

He sighed, leaving the room and shutting the door. I heard him speaking with someone outside.

"France...Make sure she doesn't leave…She's losing her mind."

There was a few seconds of an interval. The door reopened softly, and the blond man came in. "…Hello, Papillon…" He sat next to me and wrapped his arms around my quivering body. He spoke quietly in French. I couldn't understand a thing he was saying…but it was soothing.

I had finally calmed down nearly fifteen minutes later.

"Thank you…" I wiped my eyes.

"Please tell me what's wrong…" We were still embracing.

"…Prussia is still continuing the war…and he won't let me go." I knew he was familiar with the agreement.

"…Oh, goodness…" France sighed. "…I'm sorry, Papillon…" He let a few fingers drifted through my long hair, which was now a mess from Prussia picking me up.

I rested my head against his chest, unsure of what to say…I closed my eyes. Things were getting a little better, and now this…I was tossed even further down the well…I wondered if I would ever get to see my love again…

One of my hands rested on France's collar bone and I tried hard not to fall asleep. His heart beat was making me feel so very drowsy…

His hand fingers brushed through my hair until I was returned to the sanctity of my dreams. What a lovely reality it was there…

I woke up, lying down in France's arms. He had fallen asleep himself and had is mouth slightly open. He was breathing softly…I closed my eyes. He wasn't my husband…but it was so nice to have someone around me again…I allowed him to stay, and even went to back to resting a little whole longer. I was with my love inside my mind…

When I had opened my eyes again, he was sitting up on the foot of my bed.

"Hello, Papillon…"

I looked to the window. Soft twilight drifted in and made the entire room look surreal.

"…Hello…"

"Dinner is going to be ready soon…I can understand if you don't want to go. I can bring you some…"

"No, no…I'll go…" It seems I was numb again. "…France…"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry I haven't been very happy lately…I appreciate you staying here with me…if I were in your position I would have gotten frustrated and screamed at me…" I was picking at my lip and looking out the window. The sun was sinking below the horizon. "You're a good friend…"

He smiled kindly. "…Oh Papillon…It makes me happy to hear that…" He put his hand on top of mine. "Would you yell at me if I gave you…just a little, tiny kiss? Not on the lips…maybe your cheek…I don't know. Wherever you like..."

I lifted my hand and he held it as a gentleman, kissing my knuckles and then letting it back down.

"Thank you, little Papillon…" He said. "…I know it'll be hard to stay here like this…but, I'll be nice to you…and Spain is nice to everyone…If you need anything, I'll get it for you…alright?"

I nodded.

"Come on…We should get something to eat…"

We walked to the dinning room together, taking the seats we had been sitting at the last couple days. Prussia was there, drinking down another bottle of wine. I wished it would kill him. Seeing him made me angry…I was still depressed…but that didn't take away my hatred.

He looked over to me. "…I knew you were coming…" He took a large swig. "That's why I brought this little baby. I'd offer you some, but you'd probably just hit me over the head with it…"

I was shaking.

"Prussia, knock it off…" Spain said. "She's been through enough. Give her a break."

"…Heh." He consumed more alcohol, putting the bottle down before his plate. "Fine. I'll shut my mouth."

I grabbed the bottle from impulse and drank the entire thing down. It was always right there in front of me. There was a lot left, maybe half a bottle…I set it down empty.

"Hey! Who said you could just take my wine?! You didn't-!"

"Fuck you."

"Excuse me?!"

"I said fuck you!"

He looked shocked. "Who the hell do you think you are?!"

I didn't answer. I simply leaned back in my chair and looked at the ceiling. There was a chandelier…I never noticed it before.

"Hello?!"

"You said you would shut your goddamn mouth so why don't you?! I'm tired of hearing your stupid voice every three goddamn seconds!" I grabbed the neck of the wine bottle and slammed the body against the table as hard as could, broken glass flying everywhere. It occurred to me I was holding a dangerous weapon now. "Do I have to shut you up myself?! Come here! Let me see your neck, Gilbert!" The alcohol was stating to take effect.

The whole room was completely quiet. My chest was rising and falling quickly as my grip around the wine bottle became tighter. I wanted to kill him. Everyone was staring at me, afraid. Romano was shaking where he sat. But I kept my stare on Prussia, who wanted to say something, but was keeping his mouth shut to avoid getting wounded.

"I thought so!" I threw the rest of the broken bottle against the floor and got up, having enough of pleasant dinner conversation. I went back to bed, to marinate in my rage. No one dared follow me.


	14. Chapter 14

He was sitting at the foot of my bed, fading in and out form my vision. What a headache I had… His hair seemed even brighter than it normally was…My hand clutched the side of my face. I moaned in pain.

He didn't say anything, he simply looked at me, eyes trying to tell me something, but I wasn't sure how to read them. I wasn't even sure if it was really him. My gaze drifted to the window a moment, the light stinging my eyes.

Again, he turned away.

We were sitting together a good while before either of us spoke.

"If you have something to say, then say it. I'm not going to wait forever to hear some stupid bullshit you thought up while you were drunk. I have to get on with my day."

"Your day…" He sneered. "Sitting around and crying…"

"And it's still more important to me that listening to you."

He was silent another thirty seconds.

"Well?"

He bit in his lower lip, crossing his fingers with one another in his lap. "…I'm sorry."

"What?"

"…I'm sorry…Maybe I shouldn't have provoked you…You really scared the shit out of me…which is hard to do…"

I didn't say anything.

"…I'm not letting you go…but I'm going to try and drive you less crazy…Is there anything I can do to make you hate me less?"

"…I want a rose garden."

"…A rose garden?"

I nodded.

"…There already is one."

"I don't care. I want my own…Maybe next time I'll end up cutting my own neck instead and you can deal with the fact it's your fault…I could always hang myself in your office, if you'd like that better. Either way, you're to blame…because I'd rather be dead than stay here another minute…and guess who's keeping me."

"…Jesus, woman…" He said. "You can have your rose garden…I was just saying there already is one…and I told you, no suicide notes. I doubt you'd be the type to go without a few last words…"

"…You're right…I wouldn't…"

We were quiet a while.

"…If I take you to go buy seeds, are you going to run?"

"…Why would I do that?" I asked. "…I don't know how to get home…It's pointless…isn't it?"

More silence.

"…Well…Get dressed. I'll have breakfast made and we can go."

He left me alone.

Before getting dressed, I wrote to my husband, telling him all about the broken whine bottle. I told him I was going to get a rose garden and we were going shopping for seeds soon. I told him I couldn't come home because Prussia wasn't letting me. I told him I loved him and hoped he was alright. I reddened my lips and kissed the ending of my words.

At breakfast everyone was looking at me. Maybe with sympathy or fear…I couldn't even tell. I just ate, hungry from skipping food last night. I hoped they would come to understand that I was actually a nice person…but I had broken…like most would have…

"Hungary, are you feeling better?" Spain asked me.

"…Yes, I am…" I told him. "Thank you…"

He offered me a smile. Spain was a nice man…

After we had eaten, just as promised, I was taken into town by carriage. Again, Prussia and I sat next to one another, looking out opposite windows. I think we came to a mutual understanding, of types…maybe we were just even…He drove me insane, and I tried to kill him…

Perhaps I was stuck here…but at least he was trying to make it more pleasant…I would have a garden to keep me distracted…and he was letting me keep in contact with my love…things could be much worse. Maybe I should stop moping and make the best of my life…I would get to see him again. I knew I would…I was certain it was in my destiny to be by his side…I was simply held up.

We arrived by a pretty little store with flowers out in front. An old man and woman were there, tending to them. Prussia was out first and without any words offered me a hand. I took it, flushing. He really was trying…

We stepped in, saying hello to the old couple. They asked if they could help us. He told them we wanted seeds.

We were led deeper in, where there were neatly labeled bags. They had all sorts flower names.

"You can take whatever you want…It doesn't just have to be roses…"

"…Thank you…"

I chose a few different kinds of seeds, some even at random. All flowers were lovely…it would be more interesting to see what would grow by just planting them in the ground…

After paying, we boarded the carriage and went home. I looked over all the flowers I was going to bring life to. For the first time in a while I was happy. I had something to be excited about. I looked to Prussia, who actually had a little grin on his face, but turned away from me before I could actually get a descent look at it…


	15. Chapter 15

The first thing I did that morning was look for a spot for my garden. I had my seeds in one arm, and a pale of water in the other's hand.

Most of the land was desolate and simply dirt. It wasn't healthy soil. There wasn't much grass growing the area…

In my search, I came across the old rose garden, which was wilting. I took pity upon it and shared some of my water with the ground, hoping they would perk up and perhaps become lovely…They color of their petals was fading…it made me rather sad.

Finally, when I was about to give up, I found Prussia squatting near a chicken coop. His cap was sitting next to him and his long cape covered his feet. He looked like he was holding something and speaking, but I wasn't sure what he doing…I watched a moment before coming a little closer.

The thing in his hand was a bright yellow chick. It was so fluffy, it seemed like its tiny red beak had a difficult time breaking from the mess of feathers. It had two beady black eyes and was chirping happily.

I went in a bit.

Prussia wasn't speaking to it…but peeping and petting it with a lone index finger. I don't think the little creature minded. He turned a moment, his gaze catching me. I didn't bother with running, but stood next to him, putting down the items occupying my arms.

"…What?" He asked.

"Nothing."

He looked back to his cupped hands holding the little bird. "…I'm not weird."

"I didn't say you were…That's a really cute chick…"

"…I know…" He said.

"Can I see him?"

"…No."

"…Come on…"

"…Fine, but you have to be careful…Don't drop him…I'll have to kill you…" He stood up and faced me. I made a bowl with my hands and waited as he lowered the chick into my palms.

I couldn't help but smile.

"…What did you name it?"

"…Gilbert."

I laughed. "That's creative."

"…Shut up."

The chick was flapping its little wigs and sat down in my palms. It peeped once and stopped moving a while.

"…That's odd."

"…I think he accepts you…"

"…Good…"

"Here…" Prussia placed his hands under mine. Gently, I put him back into his care. He returned the chick to its place behind the fence. Before he even rose, he took my pale of water and seeds.

"…What are you-"

"I'll carry these for you…Get my hat."

I did as he asked and once he rose, I placed the cap back upon his head. He blew away the few stray bits of grey hair hanging into his eyes and then nodded to me.

I led him back to the other rose garden, deciding that I should have them close so I could tend to both sets of flowers. He put the pale down once we stopped walking.

"…Here?" He sounded confused. "I thought you were going to cut yourself if you didn't have your own rose garden…"

"…I know…It's going to be right next to this one."

He sighed, mumbling something about insane women. I giggled, kneeled down, beginning to work. I poked holes in the dry soil and opened a bag of seeds. He followed suit.

"…Hey…I'm better at this."

"No you're not."

"Yeah…" He stabbed another six holes and looked back to me, a big stupid smile written on his lips. "Why don't you prove it, little miss? Unless you're not up for it."

"You're an idiot."

"Chicken."

"You have a chicken named after you…You can't say a word…" I went back to innocently making holes in the ground, trying not to smile.

"…Hey, if you don't want to admit it, that's alright…I'll always know I'm better than you at poking holes, so there's no point in a contest, right? I mean, I'm just so good at everything…No, no…it's fine. I'm sure I'd excel at this too…"

"Shut up!" I jabbed holes in the ground and was immediately joined by Prussia, who was laughing at me.

Eventually, I was sort of dirt, running into Gilbert's work. He stopped as well, still smiling.

"…So…I win…right?"

I pushed him over, his shoulder landing in the dirt. Instead of getting mad, he stayed there, laughing.

"You're such a cheater!"

"How can you cheat at poking holes?!"

"Knocking the other person over." He was still chuckling. I began laughing as well, trying not to by biting my lip.

He sat back up and looked at the bags of seeds. "…Well…" He wiped his eyes. "…How you do you want your garden to look?"

"Just put them in randomly." I was still giggling. "…It'll look better that way."

"You got it…"

We opened all the bags of seeds and mixed them up into one. They were selected and put into the ground after that.

I began to think that he wasn't such a bad man, but I had to remind myself of what he had done to my husband. The letters coming in certainly weren't lies…My heart still ached to see him…even if Prussia was making an attempt to be kinder to me…


	16. Chapter 16

"Hungary!"

I stopped where I stood, my eyes filling with the boy standing before me. He was drenched in light, and I felt myself becoming furious.

"Hungary! It's me!"

I ran towards him, bringing the back of my hand to his cheek and slamming my fist into his center.

"How could you?! How could you just betray him?!" He was writhing on the floor, tears beginning to fill up his eyes. "Why are you here?! Do you think you can fight?! Get up! Hurt me!" I threw the tip of my shoe into his quivering body. "Come on!"

"Spain brought me here! Please don't hit me!" He was sobbing. "I didn't want to go!" His pretty green eyes looked to me. "…I'm sorry…"

"…Oh…Italy…" I helped him from the floor. "Why didn't you say so?" I embraced him, kissing his cheek where I had slapped him. His skin was bright red. I might have left a bruise. "…I'm sorry…I don't know what came over me…" I gave him another kiss. "…It's good to see you're doing well."

He wrapped his arms around me tightly and finally began to calm down. I was given a touch of the lips in return. "I'm sorry…"

"It's okay…You don't have to apologize…"

At breakfast, I was nearly glaring at Spain. How does one decide to just take someone from someone else? Italy had lived in that house for years, and he comes in and rips him right form the ground…

"What?" He finally asked, looking at me. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"What is he doing here?" I asked, my finger going in Italy's direction, who was right next to his brother. Their resemblance was uncanny.

Spain sighed. "…I brought him here."

"Why?"

"Because…I wanted to see him…and it's safer here anyway…"

"Did he want to come here?"

"Italy…" The Spaniard looked to the boy across the table. "Are you unhappy you're here?"

"Umm…"

"Everyone's been nice to you so far, haven't they?"

"Yes, but-!"

"Oh, stop it! Italy, did you come here because you wanted to, or did he force you to?"

"…He…forced me to…"

"…Italy…" Spain sounded hurt. "…Don't you want to see us? Do you really want to play servant to someone who didn't even fight to keep you?"

"Everyone, everyone…please calm down…" France was stepping in. "What sort of conversation is this to have at the table? Far too serious…Italy's here now, isn't he? There's no point in being angry about it…becoming upset isn't going to send him away…besides, I'm happy I get to see my little brother again…and Hungary…" He turned to me. "I think you should be happy as well. He's your friend, non? Now you can have someone you can talk to form home…and if you're still upset, you can argue about it with Spain later, but please, allow me to eat this horrible meal in peace."

"…I'm sorry, France…"

"If you don't like it, you can make your breakfast!" Romano shot in.

The blond man began to laugh. "I'm sorry…You're right, you're right…I won't complain…" He waved a hand as id dismissing something and added in quietly, "But maybe you should learn to cook…"

Prussia looked to the boy. "…Can you cook?" he had been thinking seriously a long time.

"Oh…yes…I learned how to make a few dishes."

"Alright…You can be our new cook…because I can't take anymore. Romano, what is this? Do you even know?"

"Not…really…"

"It's okay…It's edible…" Spain told him. "It's an improvement…you tried…"

It was nice to have Italy there, even if it would be nice if he stayed home. But Spain's comment made me think he had his reasons…Perhaps it was for his own safety. He could have retrieved him long ago, if he wanted to. Maybe he though my husband's treatment was cruel…Either way, it was good to see him again. I decided to leave him alone. France was right…Arguing wasn't going to send him back.

That day, I tended to my garden while asking my little red-haired brother questions. He seemed to be somewhat happy. I was always amazed at his resiliency. I remembered when I first came here. Perhaps I was too spoiled.

"Italy, how was Austria before you left?"

"…He really misses you…He was really upset when you left…and I think things just kept getting worse…I know he wants you back…but he said it might be better you're here because it's safer…Oh…yeah…" He removed something from his apron and handed it to me. It was an envelope, but instead of being flat, something occupied it. "He wanted me to give this to you…"

"Thank you."

I opened the letter and pulled out another envelope form it. It was a deep vanilla color and tied with red string. I tore it away and revealed a necklace and an even smaller note.

'I found this the other day. I don't remember giving it to you, so here you are, Love.'

A few tears dropped into the soil. "Italy, will you help me with this?" I handed him the delicate chain and remained still as he secured it around my neck. The pendant fell to my collar bone. It was in the shape of a heart with leafy designs adorning it. How lovely…

Prussia was running laps behind us. His cape and hat were off. I couldn't count how many he had done, but he was completing them quickly. He stopped near us.

"Hey! Why are you crying?" He sounded out of breath. "I didn't even do anything this time…"

"No…its not you…" I wiped my eyes. "Look." I rose and took the chain between my fingers, letting the pendant hover in the air. "My husband sent it to me."

"…Then why are you crying?"

"…I don't know..."

"Alright, well…Have fun…" He went back to his training.

I was happy to know my husband was alright, and now I had another thing to remind me of him. It wasn't the flashiest thing he had ever given me, but I would cherish it as long as I lived.

That night, I was sitting at my vanity, answering my husband's letter. There was a knock.

"Yes?"

The space between the door and the frame widened ad Prussia's silhouette was visible. He came in and sat upon my bed. I didn't bother asking hat he wanted, but continued on with my pen.

"I brought you something."

"…You did…Why?"

"Because…seeing that necklace reminded me of this one…" He was glancing into his hands. "I inherited it…but there's nothing I can use it for, so I figured I should give it to you…"

I wrote a little more and rested the quill across the ink well.

"You want it don't you…?"

"…You shouldn't give married women jewelry…" I said. "…It's nice of you…but I shouldn't take it…"

"Come on…" He came towards me and draped it around my neck. "…Just look at it…It's nice on you…"

"…But…"

"But nothing." The clasp was shut and the stone fell just before my breasts.

"…I can't take this…It's…"

"Too much?"

"Yes…What is it?"

"A ruby."

"…No…" I tried unclasping it, but it wasn't getting free. "…I can't take this…"

He sighed, taking my hands from me by the wrists. "…Listen, if you really don't want it, you can sell it and buy yourself something better…but just keep it a while and see if you don't change your mind."

"But-!"

He put his face next to mine and kissed my cheek. "…Just shut up."

My face flushed.

"…I'm sorry, Hungary…impulse…Goodnight."

I was left alone looking at the enormous jewel around my neck. I could only sigh.


	17. Chapter 17

"Papillon! What is that?!"

We were standing before the dining room doors. I ran into France before getting inside.

"…It's…nothing. Will you help me get it off?"

"No…Tell me where you got it first…That's the kind of necklace a man gives to a woman when he's falling in love with her…I'm guessing it's not from that husband of yours…"

"It's not…" I was cracking under my blush. "…Prussia gave it to me last night…I told him I shouldn't take it…but he insisted I have it…"

"…Oh my…You be careful…That rock looks like it costs a fortune…and I doubt he would give up that kind of money for any normal person…He loves you, Papillon…"

"But-! No! He can't! And…he said he inherited it…He didn't buy it…"

"Who gives a man a necklace as inheritance?"

"…I don't know…"

"…Mmm…He's lying to you…" There was a filthy smile on his face. "I've played this game a number of times…"

"…But…What if he's not lying?"

"He left yesterday, didn't he?"

"Yes…I believe so…"

"And where did he go? He didn't come back with anything…"

"…That's…ridiculous. He can't stand me…"

"Even if he didn't buy it…he wouldn't give up such a thing to someone he can't stand…and the fact he left yesterday and came back with nothing almost proves he bought it yesterday…Try asking him where he went…"

"…But…"

"Enough! It makes perfect sense! Now come along. I'm hungry. We can talk later."

I was pulled into the dining room, and took my seat, the necklace still visible. I wanted to tuck it under my clothes, but I knew I couldn't now that I was in everyone's sight. Prussia had a little grin on his face…

"Gilbert, where did you go off to yesterday?" France asked, his voice sweet. "I wanted to tell you something or other but I couldn't find you…and now I've forgotten what it was I was going to say…."

"Oh…I was doing some shopping…"

"What did you buy?"

"Why don't you mind your own business, France? Let me know when you remember what you wanted to tell me…."

The Frenchman's foot touched mine from under the table and he gave me a discreet little wink. I wanted to throw my fork at him.

"…Oh…How is breakfast everyone?" Italy asked.

"This is good…" Spain said. "Nice job."

Romano looked like he was about to burst.

The room emptied after everyone was done eating, and I was the last one left with Prussia, who seemed to be waiting for me.

"…So, you kept it."

"…I couldn't get it off…"

"…Mmm. Sure you couldn't…" He smirked. "All women love jewelry…I'm not sure what you're so ashamed of."

I had nothing to say. I tried standing.

"Wait, wait…Don't go…"

"Why?"

"…Because, it's rude to leave the room when someone is talking to you, isn't it? Even a guy like me knows that…"

I sat back down.

"How nice of you! Anyway, I was hoping you'd like to come with me into town today. I'm taking a walk…You're tired of being cooped up here, aren't you? Hell, I'll even get you something nice and carry it all the way home for you…Maybe you can even get me something nice…but I'll still carry it home…"

I wasn't sure what to say. "…What would I possibly buy you? The only things you seem to like are alcohol and chickens…"

He stared at me a moment. "…Hey…I'm really trying. Can you at least humor me?"

I sighed. "…Sorry…" Perhaps France was right. "…I'll go with you…but I don't have any money…" I was lying. I hadn't spent a thing of what my husband had given me…but no one knew that that sum of money existed.

"Pff. I knew your husband was a cheapskate…Well, you don't need to pay to use your legs, so it's no problem."

"When are we going?"

"…We could go now…"

"Well…alright…"

My brain stopped itself a moment. I was a married woman going on a date with Prussia, the man who decided to invade my husband's country…What was I getting myself into?! I had to take this necklace off and throw it in the trash!

"…What's that look for?" Prussia asked.

"…Nothing…Actually…Do you mind if I take a little time to myself? I wanted to fix my hair…"

"…Yeah, that's fine…"

"Thank you…" I left the table and went straight to France's room. He was sleeping on top of his bed spread with his shirt unbuttoned. I sat down next to him. I couldn't bother him with my problems…but he seemed to know what was talking about…

"…France…" I whispered. "France…"

His eyes opened and he sat up, wiping away a bit of sleep. He mumbled something in French and gave me his attention.

"You called, Papillon?"

"…Prussia is taking me on a date…"

"What's wrong with you?!" His blue eyes widened. "You might as well start kissing me! Well…No! No! You're married, Papillon…If I was your husband, I would be extremely upset…"

"…I know…"

He sighed. "…Unless you plan on leaving your crazy little man, I suggest you try not to give him the wrong idea…What are you doing?"

"…We're going for a walk…"

"...That's it?" He seemed to be relieved. "…I thought you meant a real date with fancy wine and a rented room…That's a lot better…"

"…That's your idea of a date? What do you do with the girls you go out with?"

He smiled. "Maybe you shouldn't ask me such questions…Anyway, just make it seem like you're…friends…I suppose…Don't hold hands, or kiss, or take off anything…Just pretend you're a very old nun and I'm sure things will be fine…"

"Thank you…"

"De rien…Now, good night…" He lied back down and closed his eyes.

Before I went back to Prussia, I fixed my hair just as I said I would. I had simply brushed it through a few times and found a clip or two to decorate it. I pinched my cheeks, but that was all.

He was waiting for me by the door, a basket in his gloved hands.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes…"


	18. Chapter 18

Prussia and I didn't go into town; instead, he took me into a field with an assortment of flowers and one big tree in the center of it. We had been walking a while, so it was nice to see such a lovely place. I was beginning to think he had simply lost his mind…

"So, do you like it here? It's a good place for a picnic, right?"

"…It's…pretty…" I said, looking around. There were little pink flowers at my feet, and a nice breeze drifted through the air.

"…Are you tired of walking? We came a long way."

"…Only a little bit…"

"Here." He handed me the basket and I took it. Before I could figure out what was going on, he swept me from my feet and brought me over to the tree. The entire way there I couldn't meet my eyes with his…I only looked to the grass and felt my face grow redder, realizing I shouldn't be doing this at all…

Prussia set me under the tree and then sat down himself, kicking his legs out before him and sighing. He leaned his head back against the bark, and opened an eye to look at me.

"Go ahead…Start taking things out…"

"Oh…alright…" I opened one side of the basket and took out a bottle of wine and a loaf of bread.

"Not bad, huh?"

"…Who…Who do you think I am?"

"…What?"

"…I'm married…and to your enemy…You've given me an expensive necklace…and now we're under a tree in this secluded field with wine…What do you want from me? I don't understand this at all…"

"…I don't really know…I just think you're pretty…I guess…" He looked into the clouds. "…Maybe I'm being stupid…You hate me…I could go sit on the other side of the tree, if you want…"

"…I don't…hate you…I just…" I sighed. "…I'm not supposed to be here with you…"

He didn't say anything for a while, and finally came to his feet. "…Wanna race me to the top of the tree?"

"…What?"

"…You've climbed a tree, haven't you?"

"But that doesn't have to with anything…"

"…Have you?"

"No…"

"…So you've never gotten drunk in a tree?"

"No."

"…It's fun. Come on…" He grabbed onto the first branch and lifted himself up. "Put the wine in the basket…I'll carry it up…"

"Are you crazy?!"

"Probably. Come on."

I paused a moment. "But…How do you climb a tree?"

"Here…Give me the basket…"

I sighed and gave him custody of the alcohol. He balanced the basket on the next branch up and offered me a hand. "I'll lift you up, since you're kinda short…and it'll get easier…"

I took his hand, which wrapped around my wrist and pulled me up a little ways. I grabbed onto the first branch and hoisted myself up, being helped by Prussia until we were on the same level.

"See? That wasn't so bad…" He took the wine and began climbing up another level. I followed, having a difficult time. He was waiting patiently for me on the next limb.

"Take off your shoes…"

"What?!"

"Your shoes, take them off…Here. I'll help you…" He began unlacing the strings on my boots and slipped one from my poor barren foot. Prussia let it drop to the grass and then began working with the other.

"I can do it…" I heard France's words in my head. 'Don't take anything off.' I wondered if shoes counted…

"Ready?"

I nodded.

We went up a ways before stopping. The entire field was visible, and all the little flowers seemed to blend together to make one gorgeous painting with all sorts of hues.

"…Wow…"

Prussia didn't waste any time with removing the cap of the bottle. He handed it to me first.

"…How much am I allowed to drink? I mean…we still have to get down…"

"…Uh…Just…" He thought a moment. "How fast do you get drunk?"

"…Pretty fast…"

"…Alright…well…not much then…"

"Okay…" I took a good swig and handed it to him.

We were in the tree for nearly an hour before Prussia began his descent. I was somewhat intoxicated, and certainly wasn't in the state to climb down…much less even up this high…

"Are you coming?" His cheeks were slightly red from the wine.

"I'm trying…" My naked foot slipped past one of the branches and I felt as if I would fall. A scream erupted from my throat and I held onto the one of the tree's limbs for dear life.

Prussia came back up, wrapping a strong arm around my waist. "I'll help you…" He seemed to be a little tipsy himself. I felt my face fill with blood.

Eventually, he got to the bottom, and I was still on the first branch.

"Listen…You have to jump…"

"But…"

"I'll catch you…"

I propelled myself form the tree and landed into Prussia's arms, but as soon as I was there, we fell over into the grass. He crushed one of my boots. The silver haired man released a moan and I stood up, nearly falling over again. He sat up and rose, looking at me.

"See? It was fun, wasn't it?" He sounded as if he was in pain…landing on a boot probably wasn't the most enjoyable thing to do.

"…Yeah…"

Eventually, we went home, mildly disoriented…I wasn't sure what to think of this man anymore...Guilt came over me…My husband was miserable…and here I was, getting drunk in trees with the man who caused all of this…He was falling in love with me…I could see it in his eyes…It was the same look I had gotten from Roderich years ago…It was very small…but it was there.

It made me want to return home more so than anything…and I realized how very careful I had to be.

That night I lied in my bed, unable to sleep. Emotions came from my eyes and drained onto my pillow while I stared at the ceiling. I was wallowing in a storm of lost feelings, with both decorations around my neck…


	19. Chapter 19

They were going off to fight again…I always felt betrayed when they left…

A day before their departure, Gilbert came into my room and sat upon my bed. He was in uniform with his gun in his lap and his sword inside its sheath. I was writing a letter, telling my husband to be safe while I cried. I was trying so desperately to finish. Maybe he would get this before they arrived.

"Hungary…"

I ignored him, my pen etching even faster.

"I…" He released a gasp of air, tying to continue. "Is…there anything I can do?"

"…Please don't kill my husband…" I wiped my eyes and wrote, my brain wracking itself for words. They weren't coming to me. "That's all I want…Please, just leave me someone to come home to…"

He looked at the gun sitting on top of his legs. "…Alright…You got it…"

"Thank you…"

He stood up and appeared behind me in the mirror. I could tell he felt sorry for me…but what could he do? He was the one causing me to feel this way.

"Stand up a second…"

I did as I was told and was wrapped in his arms, and for the first time, I embraced him in return. It was nice to be comforted again…

Prussia's hand stroked through my hair, and for a moment, I wanted his lips, but I murdered the thought as soon as it arrived.

Finally, he let go of me, and I went back to writing my letter, which I sealed with a few Hungarian words and my love. I noticed that he lingered a moment, and left me with a sigh.

The next morning, they were gone and I was left with the two Italian boys at the breakfast table. It was very quiet…

"…Hungary…" Italy was the one to break the silence. "…Are you okay?"

"No…not really…" I answered. I was still concerned about my husband. Even if Prussia had promised not to take his life, there were no guarantees…

"…Oh…"

A few more minutes passed, and I noticed Romano…he looked like he was about to break…

"…Are you alright?" I forgot my pain.

"…Spain and I got into a fight yesterday…" A droplet of water fell onto his plate. "Now I keep thinking I'm not going to see him again…"

His brother gave him a hug. "…It's okay…He'll come back…"

I was honestly surprised. Romano seemed to hate Spain…Maybe he actually did like him…at least enough to worry…

"…Why don't we go outside to day?" I said. "…We could all use a distraction…"

"…Alright…" The brunette wiped his eyes.

Before we went out, I was at vanity a long time, brushing through my hair. I preferred it when those men were here…at least then I didn't have to worry so much about my love…I wondered how he was…Whenever I was with him, he seemed so peaceful…I was happy then…

It was one of those difficult days, when his face was forefront in my mind…

I wanted to write him another letter, but the other one had already been sent…

Finally, we went out. We didn't take a carriage, but went on foot. I had some of the money Austria had given me, hoping to buy something, but not wanting to reveal I had any currency…If Prussia found out, he would be upset…

I turned to the two boys, who were conversing in their own language. Italy was laughing and Romano looked somewhat upset.

"…Would you two like to get something to eat?" They wouldn't tell him I had paid, and even if they did, I could simply tell him Austria had sent me some money…

"Ooh! Can it be pasta?"

"We've had pasta for nearly every meal for the last week! At least I made something different every night!"

"…Oh…I'm sorry…I'll try and make something else…Maybe you can teach me…"

Romano grumbled something unpleasant.

"…Well, how about we go to the bakery?" I suggested. "You two like sweets, don't you?"

"Yes!" Italy said.

"…Can I just have a tomato?"

"Of course…" What an odd child.

We returned home carrying a cake, a batch of cookies and a single tomato. Italy had his hand in the little bag of treats and the cake was in my arms. Perhaps they would return soon…We could all have this together…if not, well…It certainly did look tasty…

"Thank you, Hungary!"

"…Yes…Thank you…"

"It's no problem…"

I felt better having got out, even if Roderich inhabited my mind the entire time. I was so worried about him…and for a moment…I even worried about Prussia…but again, I relinquished the thought…


	20. Chapter 20

In their absence, Romano waited by the door for hours at a time. He would pick at his lip and rock back and forth at times. I would sit next to him, often in silence and watch the porthole just as he would. He must have felt terrible for whatever had happened between them. I didn't think he had such a capacity for loyalty.

When the door opened nearly five days later, Romano looked up, his green eyes widening. Spain was the first in, and before he could even get his feet past the frame, he was embraced.

"I'm sorry!" The boy's face was buried deep into the Spaniard's uniform, and he was holding onto him for dear life. "…I'm sorry…please forgive me…"

"…Oh, Lovino…" His hand traced over the shorter's back. There was a smile on his face. "…It's alright…I already have…"

"Thank you…"

The other two joined the scene, glancing to me, and then to Romano and Spain.

"Papillon, why are you sitting on the floor?"

"We were waiting for you…" I stood, brushing myself off and adjusting my dress. I noticed Prussia and a bloodied piece of cloth around his arm. "What happened to you?!"

"…I got shot…" He answered, as if there wasn't any pain. "Don't worry. I'm fine."

"But…You're bleeding…"

"Not anymore…" He began removing the clothing, letting it drop to the floor. The wound was still tender and bloody. It was a graze; the bullet hadn't gone through or stayed in his arm. He touched a finger to it and winced. "…I guess it is still bleeding…" Prussia took off his blouse right there, holding the mess of fabric under his good arm as a small amount of crimson trickled down the other. "…I'm going to wash this off…"

We all watched as he left the room down a hallway, his bare back giving us a farewell.

"…That looked painful…"

"…Well…He's never been one to let pain bother him…" France said. "He's had a lot worse than that little cut…"

"Hmm…Like what?"

"…The next time you get a chance…Look at his stomach…"

"…Alright…"

Spain and Romano were off in there own little world.

"…I guess you're done with hugging me, huh?" The Spaniard had taken a hold of the one curly hair coming from the other's head and was twirling it between his fingers, laughing. He was punched in the stomach.

"I told you not to touch that!"

"That's not very nice of you…one of these days I'm going to punch you back…" Spain was rubbing his stomach and hit Romano playfully. I found myself giggling.

After the room had cleared, I was standing alone, wondering about Prussia. I felt guilty I was actually worried, but there was time for that later. I followed his trail into the bathroom and knocked on the door softly.

"What?"

"It's me…"

"You can come in…I'm not naked or anything…"

"Alright…" I opened the door and walked in, seeing Prussia kneeling over the bath tub with his arm hovering over it. It was full of slightly bloodied water and an old cloth. I took a place next to him, my knees becoming wet because of the water on the floor. I looked at his arm.

"…See? It's not so bad…" He said. "It just looked worse because of the dried blood…" he threw some of the water onto it, a bit of clear red running into the tub. "…I have to wait for the damn thing to stop bleeding…"

"…Doesn't that hurt?" I asked. If I was bleeding that much, I knew I would have been crying…

"It kinda stings, but…" He took the cloth and put it over the gash. "It doesn't really hurt…"

"…Hmm…" I tried to get a glance at his stomach, but due to the angle, I didn't see anything out of the ordinary. I moved my gaze to his face. He didn't look to be in any discomfort at all. He turned and gave me a little grin.

"…You're worrying about me, aren't you?"

"What? Don't say such ridiculous things."

"Pff. Whatever…" He contributed a little more blood to the water. "You should have seen your face…You thought I was really hurt…"

"…Well…You were bleeding…That's usually not a good sign…"

"So you admit it?"

"…Yeah…You would never let me live it down anyway…"

He smiled at me and pressed his lips to my face gently. They lingered there a moment before he went back to cleaning his wound. "Don't hit me, okay? I'm already bleeding…Later…I promise. You can smack me right in the mouth."

I could still feel his kiss…I touched the spot with my fingers. "…Prussia…Why are you…" I trailed off, my cheeks pink.

"Is it really that hard to figure out? You're cute…"

"…But…"

He kissed me again. "That's two smacks, if you want 'em."

I didn't say anything…But I was beginning to feel horrible…Yet, I didn't leave.

"…You know, I almost liked it better when you were angry with me…at least then I knew how you felt…" He stood up, and took the blouse from the floor and tore a long and wide strip from the bottom. He used the rest of it to dry off the wound, and finally tied the fabric around it.

"…I can do that for you…" I said. He wouldn't be able to tie it tightly with only one hand.

"Thank you…"

I secured the white around his arm and looked into his eyes, then away. "…How do you really feel about me? You're acting like you love me…but it doesn't make sense…The way I treat you…You should hate me, shouldn't you? At least dislike me…And I'm married to Roderich…Doesn't that at least bother you?"

"Of course it bothers me…" His eyes drifted the floor, crimson irises filling with light.

"…It…disgusts me that he gets you and I don't…"

"…But…" I really wasn't sure how to respond.

"…I dunno. I should probably just want to send you home…but you were always so cute when you were mad at me…" He looked at me. "You still hate me, don't you?"

"…No…" I answered. "…I don't hate you…"

He didn't have words, so he looked into the window high up on the wall, light coming into his pale face. I was more focused the blood filled tub.

"…They told me you had some pretty good battle scars…" It might be best to change the subject.

"They weren't lying…Whoever they might be…" He turned to me, letting me view his body. My eyes rolled over his chest and abs, all of which were sculpted to perfection…On his collar bone, there was a little mark that looked like it had healed a long time ago…but his stomach had a huge gash upon it and was still easily visible. It was paler than the rest of his skin and had a rough looking texture.

"…What happened?" I asked.

"…I was cut by a sword…I'm really surprised I lived after that one…I was kinda hazy a while…" He turned back around and focused on draining the water. "…But I got better, obviously…"

"…Oh…Did that one hurt?"

"Not at all…" He was smiling. "It felt great."

"Oh, shut up…"

He started laughing. "As you wish…"

That day left me somewhat bothered, but over all lost…How was I supposed to feel? As upset as I should have been, I wasn't…which truly threw me off. I wasn't upset at all…I didn't want to slap him…I even wanted another kiss…But…feeling that way only submerged me in pure guilt…How could I betray my true love with such thoughts? My husband was always good to me…He cried for me when I left…

What a horrible woman I was…


	21. Chapter 21

I sat in my bed that morning, the sun drenching me in its light, but I couldn't see any truth. I didn't want to go to breakfast, nor did I want to open the letter my husband had sent me. I only wanted an answer, and I doubted I would get one any time soon.

There was a knock at my door.

"Yes?" My voice was feeble.

"C'est moi! Cava, mon Papillon?" He opened the door. "Everyone's wondering where you are…" France came in and sat next to me. "What's wrong….You look so upset…"

"Prussia is in love with me…" I told him. "…and I don't know what I should do…"

He sighed. "Have you told him you're not interested?"

"…Well, sort of…I keep telling him I'm married, but…he won't stop….He kissed me yesterday…"

"Oh…What have you gotten yourself into?" He looked at me with those pretty blue eyes. "I know Prussia…I doubt he'll stop until he gets what he wants…"

I cast my glance to the sheets covering my legs. "…France…Can I tell you something? You won't…tell anyone, will you?"

"No…Of course I won't…"

"I…liked it…"

"You what-?! Papillon…You can't like it…"

"I know…"

"Where did he kiss you?"

"On the cheek…"

"Well…when your husband kissed you…How is that?"

"It's great…" I said. "…I love his kisses…"

We sat in silence a very long moment.

"Well, I'm not exactly sure what to tell you, little Papillon…but perhaps you should think about all the nice things your crazy little man has done…He's good to you…and I know this because he was throwing shoes at me the last time I gave you a little kiss." France winked at me. "…You shouldn't cheat on a man like that…"

"…I know…"

"Well, are you coming to breakfast? I'm sure it's almost over…"

"…I'll go…" I propelled myself from my bed and landed onto my feet. I was sure no one would care if I showed up in my pajamas.

I was left thinking about all the wonderful times I had with my love…He was always good to me…Even when he had a right to be upset…I couldn't leave him…especially for someone who was causing us both pain…

As I entered the dining room, Spain and Romano were leaving with Italy behind them. France and I sat down, and I hoped he wouldn't leave. Prussia was always trying something…

No one had anything to say; instead we ate in silence, my brain filling with all sorts of thoughts.

"…Why is everyone so quiet?" Prussia asked.

"…No reason…" France said. "…I was just thinking about this pretty little lady I saw in town the other day…" His face grew pink. "Oh, what a pretty girl…"

"Is that all you ever think about?" Prussia wanted to laugh. "…No wonder why you're always so busy…Well, are you going to ask her out?"

"Maybe…" He was twirling blond hair between his fingers. "…I feel so shy all of a sudden…"

"…That's a lie. I don't think you have a shy bone in your body…The first time I met you, you were nearly nude…"

"Oh, yes…What a first impression…" France smiled. "How did we become friends again? I can't remember very well, but I'm sure you hit me over the head with something…"

They went on chattering and I looked down at my meal. I wasn't very hungry…Perhaps I should just leave... I stood up.

"Hey, don't go…" I heard. "…Sorry we're ignoring you…Sit back down…"

I looked to Prussia, the smile written across his lips bothering me. "…No…I'm not hungry…and I have to answer my husband's letter…Excuse me…" I left the room before any more protests came.

When I returned to my room, the first thing I did was tear away the envelope covering my love's words. It was a long letter, and that almost made me relieved…I read it over a few times and then began my response.

It was composed of how much I loved him and missed him. I didn't mention Prussia's kisses or his affection for me…I figured it would be best to simply leave those things out. But I did tell him I was doing well, and everything was alright…I gave him a few more Hungarian words and a kiss in deep red at the end of the page.

I went to Prussia's office and placed my letter on his desk, knowing he would get it. That's where I usually left them…

The door opened and he came in…What terrible timing.

"…Hello…"

I looked at my letter. "…Hello…" I turned around, looking at him. He still had a bandage around his arm. "…How is that?"

Prussia looked at the healing wound. "…It's fine…Feels better then yesterday…"

I nodded, my next step going for the door.

"…Wait. Don't leave yet…"

"…Why?"

"Why not?" We stared at each other a moment. "…I know you probably want to punch me…but…maybe we can go out today…or…just stay here…I need to see my chickens…"

"…Gilbert-"

"What? You're married; I know. That didn't stop you the last few times, did it? Which reminds me…you can hit me now…I'm feeling up to it."

"I'm not going to hit you…" I answered, annoyed.

"…Well…Would you like to pet Gilbert or not?" He had a dirty grin.

"…You're disgusting."

"I know."

Silence.

"…Hungary…"

"What? Can I go now?"

"…No…Not yet…"

"Then what is it?"

"…Nothing…" He turned around. "…You can go, I guess…"

I sighed, feeling bad. "…I'll go see your pet chicken today…but that's it..."

"Lovely." He faced me again. "When would you like to go?"

"…I don't really care…It's not like I have anything to do…"

"Then I'll get you a little later…I have to write a letter…"

I was finally allowed to leave, and I felt like an idiot for even agreeing to go see that chick…

An hour later, we were outside, walking to the coop in silence. I felt so very uncomfortable…The wedding band around my finger was burning…and the diamonds were brighter than they ever were…

"…How do you get your hair like this?" He broke the silence and took a lock of my hair between his fingers. "Is it natural?"

"Oh…yes…I just brush it, I guess…"

"…Hmm…What a nice texture…You're lucky to have such nice hair…Mine is so boring…"

"What are you saying? It's white…" I found myself laughing. "…How many people do you know with white hair?"

"…Oh yeah…I am pretty blond…" He touched the bit that was hanging over his forehead.

I smiled and as soon as I did, I murdered the shape of my lips, looking away.

"…God, you're cute…" His mouth caught my ear. "Perhaps you shouldn't turn away, huh?"

So, my face went back, only to have my lips touched by his. His arms wrapped around me, holding me in place. What a tricky man… I found my eyes closing…

His tongue rubbed against my bottom lip…My mouth opened. No…What in the hell was I doing?!

My arms wrapped around him…I could feel his breath…His fingers touched my skin…our kiss became deeper.

No, no, no!

Prussia stopped a moment, only to kiss me again…A thumb settled into the crook of my neck…I was leaning my head back…

No…

A hand traced my curves…I was melting…My chest pressed to his, a moan escaping my lips…

We stopped.

"I love you…" He whispered.

"…No…Don't say that…" My voice was so gentle. "…Let me go…"

"…I'm sorry…" We were still speaking lowly. "…You're beautiful…" He stopped kissing me and simply held me close. I was beginning to cry. "Please…don't go…" Prussia's hand found mine, and our fingers intertwined.

And suddenly…I heard my love's piano…

"No…My husband…"

"Forget him…Just for a moment…" Again, our mouths were touching.

"No! Stop!" I smacked him square in the mouth and finally broke free. "Stop it!" I wiped my eyes. "You can't do this! Stop it!"

I collapsed into the dirt…My knees the first ones to the ground.

"…You can't do this…I love him…"

Prussia had his hand on the spot where I hit him. "…I'm sorry…" He kneeled down before me, putting a bit of hair behind my ear. "…Please don't cry…" His lips touched my tears, taking them away. "…Please don't cry…"

I could only see my husband's face…He was smiling so happily…

"I'm sorry…" I whispered.


	22. Chapter 22

Again, I stayed in my room, and again, I wallowed in my guilt. If Roderich was here I would allow him to punch me in the stomach if he wanted to…But he wouldn't. He was such a good man…

And again, there was banging on the door.

"Go away!"

"Are you okay?"

It was Spain this time…

"Please…let me come in…You can talk to me…"

"…Alright…"

"What?"

"Alright!"

The door opened and the tanned Spaniard came in, his green eyes gentle. It occurred to me that I was surrounded by far too many attractive men…

He sat at the foot of my bed, a comforting smile on his face. I didn't want to tell him…Giving Spain a bad impression was something I would be unhappy doing…

"Well, what happened?" He asked.

"…Don't tell anyone…"

"Of course not. I don't tell secrets...France has probably told me hundreds of them, but I've never told anyone a one of them..." He still had a grin.

"…Well…Prussia…" I couldn't go on. I had barely taking to this man…Why would I tell him this, of all things?

"…Yes?"

"…It's really…" I sighed.

"…He likes you, right?"

"…How did you know?"

"It's not so hard to figure out…He even asked me once for advice about how to get you to like him a little more…but then he remembered Romano and said 'never mind.'" Spain continued. "…But you can just tell sometimes…"

"…Oh…Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"…How do you know Romano?"

"…He's my servant…but not really…I spoil him. He would come up to me and demand food…and I would make it for him…I'm more like a baby sitter…" He sighed. "I've had him ever since he was…tiny…Your husband gave him to me, actually…I can see why he would want to get rid of him." He laughed. "But…I still love him…"

"Oh…He looks a lot like Italy…It's easy to see they're related…"

"…That's what kind of got me…He was so cute the first time I saw him…and then I brought him home, thinking he would be like his brother…but…he wasn't…"

I giggled. "…I can see that…"

"How was Italy…growing up?" He asked.

"He was cute…" I said. "…I'm a little sad he's gotten so big…I can't have in my lap anymore…But they have to grow up…" I smiled. "…But he had his childish moments too…He still does…"

He nodded. "…Anyway, enough about me…Why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

"…I…kissed him today…"

"…How?" He asked. "Did you kiss him first…or…?"

"…He kissed me first…but…I let him…" I trailed off. "…He used his tongue…"

"…Well…that's…really bad…." He said. "…How did that happen? I thought you hated him…"

"…I know I'm supposed to but…" I sighed. "…I don't know anymore…He's…okay, but…I'm married…I can't do this…"

"…Well, how was it?"

"…How was what?" My face was becoming warmer. "…Do you mean…?"

"…Yes, the kiss. The kiss says it all…So, how was it?"

"…It was…amazing…" I felt it would be useless to lie. "…He told me that he loved me…I felt…wonderful…but terrible at the same time because…" I wanted to cry. "…Because I still love my husband…he's always been so kind to me…and he fought so hard to keep me home…but…whenever I'm around Prussia…I just…forget…" A few droplets broke free and fell onto my hands.

"You…forget…?"

I nodded, and we sat there a long moment with no words.

"…I think you're in love with him."

"What?! No…I'm not! How could I be?"

"…If it was amazing…well…I've only had a few amazing kisses in my life…and every time, they were from people I loved deeply…I think you just don't realize it because you won't let yourself… But just think if your husband didn't exist, what would you do?"

"…I…I don't know…"

"…Hmm…I think you would have kissed him again…but it was your husband that held you back, wasn't it? I'm not saying you don't love your him…it's possible to love two people differently…but I think you love Prussia too…At least, on some level…because if you didn't…then why did you let him use his tongue?"

"…I…I'm not sure…"

"…Well…there isn't any shame in loving someone…but you shouldn't cheat…even if he was bad to you…"

"But he wasn't! He's the sweetest man in the entire world!"

"…Then you really shouldn't cheat…And if you feel you should move on…then you should tell him…because there's no worse feeling than being betrayed...especially if he was that nice to you…"

"…I don't want to move on…I love him…I really do…"

"…Then stay away from Prussia…He doesn't have many boundaries, as you've noticed…"

"…Alright…Thank you, Spain…"

"It's nothing…"

I was left alone, thinking. Did I really love Prussia? His stupid nature…That big dumb smile…Those eyes…He was lovely sometimes…

Perhaps just admitting it would be the best thing…but no one could know…Not Prussia or my love waiting for me back home…


	23. Chapter 23

For the next couple of days, I stayed away form Prussia. I worked in garden or even wrote poetry in Hungarian…Anything to get away from him…

So that day, I was with my flowers. They were becoming lovely…even the roses in the old garden were beginning to bloom again. I took a marigold from my own set and pinned it behind my ear.

"That looks nice on you…"

"Prussia…"

"Where have you been? I haven't seen you n a few days…" His voice was very gentle.

"I've been here…working. The flowers are looking better…"

"Hmm…" He sat next to me, one of his hands reaching for a lush crimson rose growing in the other garden. It was the one he was in front of. "…Can I have this one?" His fingers were ready to pinch it.

"Yes…of course…It's your flower anyway…"

"Thank you…" He pinned to his cap, after removing the wilting one. "How is it?"

"It's fine…" I tended to my leaves.

"Hungary…" Again, his words were soft. "…You say you don't hate me…but you've been avoiding me…Was my kiss really so unpleasant?"

"No…I just…" I sighed.

"You didn't want it?"

"No…Please…"

"…Alright…I'll forget it…" He sounded melancholy. "…Hungary?"

"…What?"

"…Will you come into town with me today?"

"…No…" I stood up to go, but he caught my wrist. I felt his lips on my fingers, kissing me.

"Please, my lady…I'll buy you something nice…I'll take you out to dinner, I'll get you a fancy bottle of wine…whatever you like. Just spend a little bit of time with me…" His hands had mine captive, is mouth touching my knuckles now. "You can punch me in the gut afterwards…Just please…Come out with me. I wasn't lying when I told you I loved you…" I felt his tongue on my skin and yanked my hand away.

"I'm sorry." I said. "I'm not interested."

"Then why did you open your mouth?"

I Froze.

"I was expecting you to pull away from me, and you didn't." He rose. "You can't tell me that wasn't great…I know it was. If you really don't want me, then stop leading me on…please. You're smashing my poor old heart into a thousand pieces…" Again, my hand was captured. "Why don't you come out with me?"

"Prussia…I…" My eyes locked with his…That face...

"You…?"

"Can we just…"

"Yes?" He kissed my hand once more.

"Listen…I have a husband…I can't do this…"

"Then we can go as friends…" His fingers were wrapping around mine. "Please…"

I threw my fist into his stomach as hard as I possibly could. "Fine!"

"Ah, that was a good one…" Prussia was smiling at me. "For a girl."

I slapped him playfully. "Shut up before I change my mind."

"Yes, miss, of course."

I had finished in my garden, and Prussia took me into town in a carriage. The way there, he was talking to me about…something or other. I was thinking about what could possibly come of this…He was simply moving is lips to me.

"So, where would you like to go?" He asked.

"Oh? What?"

He repeated the question.

"…I'm not sure…You know this town better than I do…Maybe we can get something to eat…" I had skipped breakfast to avoid Prussia.

"…Alright…"

So, we stopped at the front of an expensive looking restaurant, Prussia holding open the door for me. I was surprised…Perhaps he had studied some etiquette…

Eventually, we were given a table near the window, light shining onto it. It had a small bouquet of flowers sitting in the center, all of them flourishing and beautiful. We took places across from one another, the silver haired man smiling pleasantly at me. I looked to the plants in the window sill.

"…May I ask you a question?"

"…Of course…"

"…What was it like…at your other house?"

"…What do you mean?"

"I mean…how was it with him?"

"…He was very good to me…He always told me how much he loved me…and spoiled me…even though I told him not to. I've done things that should probably make him hate me…but he never did…We grew together through the hard times and eventually got married…but…then you came in…"

He looked hurt a moment. His mouth opened to say something, but he closed it once nothing came.

"Sorry…Perhaps I'm being bitter…I think you'd be upset if you were in the same position…"

"…Most people would be…" My hand was resting on the table and his landed softly on top of it. The blades of his fingers brushed softly over my knuckles as my hand was placed on top of his. "…I'm sorry…"

"…Why? Because you could fix this and you didn't?" I was becoming upset.

He sighed. "…I'll just shut up…"

I sat in my rage a moment…but then reminded myself that my anger wouldn't change anything…He was trying…which at least counts for something…

"Hey…It's…alright…" I said. "You can't change the past…"

I felt his lips at my hand again. "Thank you."

We ordered our food, Prussia asking for a bottle of wine, and two glasses. I felt myself blush.

"…Why do you like wine so much?" I asked. I was beginning to wonder if he was an alcoholic, but perhaps not…Austria liked wine as well…We would usually have it together during dinner…

"It's good…Why not?" He asked. "Besides, what's a nice lunch with out a little drink?"

"…I don't think you're supposed to drink in the middle of the day…" I told him.

"I'm not going to get drunk…" He informed me. "We could just have a little bit…"

The bottle arrived first, the waiter opening it for us and setting it down. We were each given a glass. Prussia poured some of the deep red liquid into my chalice first, then some for himself. I took a sip.

"See? It's good, isn't it?"

"Yes…" I said. "…How much are you paying for this?"

"Don't worry about that. It's none of your business."

Lunch was actually enjoyable…I couldn't erase his smile from my mind…He seemed happy to just be with me…I was charmed, if not worried…

Instead of going home, we stopped outside the theatre.

"Prussia…what are we doing here?"

"I'm buying tickets…What else?" he kissed my forehead and tried to leave the carriage. I caught him by the arm.

"Stop it! Get your ass back in here!"

"No!" He pulled me out and I landed into an embrace. "Don't be difficult. Come on…"

"…Gilbert…" I sighed, resting my face against his chest. "You're the one who's difficult."

"…I know. That's why you're not allowed to be more difficult than me…The line isn't very long…" He was stroking through my hair. "You like this kind of stuff, don't you?"

"…No. I hate it."

"Don't lie to me…" His lips lingered on my cheek.

"Stop kissing me…I hate that too…"

"…One day you'll pay for all of these lies…" He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and led me towards the front of the theatre. Tickets were purchased for a show at six.

"I'm going to trust you with these, alright? I'll probably end up misplacing them, so you have to keep them safe." I was kissed on the forehead. "I'll come find you at five thirty and we'll go. Be ready. I'll take you even if you're in pajamas."

"…What if I'm naked?"

"Then you can just borrow my blouse." He was smirking at me.

When I was returned home, I went to my room, wondering if this would ever stop…I was so determined to stay away from him…but now we were going out together…and this time on a real date. I was bothered I had such a nice time…


	24. Chapter 24

At five thirty, I was in my room, trying to look as nice as I could…I honestly didn't want to go, but he had already bought them, and theatre tickets were never cheap…I had by best dress on, and I put powder on my eyes…I felt strange…I usually had people to handle this sort of thing for me…I wondered if I was doing it incorrectly.

As I was pinching my cheeks, there was a knock at the door. The tickets were in my gloved hands and Gilbert came in, looking the best I had ever seen him.

"Ah…You look…not naked…"

"…Have I disappointed you?"

"A bit…Are you ready to go?"

I nodded.

"Do you have the tickets?"

"Right here…" I placed them in his hand, only to have my fingers caught.

"You're lovely." He smiled. "Before I forget to tell you…"

"You shouldn't lie to me…We're going to be late…"

"You're right… but I'll just prove you wrong later…" He picked me up, and I yelled.

"No, no! You'll mess up my hair!"

"You'd be lovely even if your head looked like a bird's nest. We have to go anyway…" He kissed me, refusing to put me down, and like a bride, he carried me away. I was fuming the entire time.

We sat in the carriage and hurried off to our destination. Prussia had an arm wrapped around me as I looked out the window, wishing he would stop…He would occasionally plant a kiss upon my reddened cheek. I knew telling him to knock it off wouldn't do any good…

We arrived when they opened the curtains. Our seats were in the forth row near the middle. I was excited…I had never sat so close. The only other time I had been inside a theatre was when I was a child…But we were in the back…my family and I had snuck in…

The play started, and a finely dressed woman took center stage. I felt Prussia's lips kiss my cheek. It was such a light brush…My face became warm.

The performance lasted nearly two hours, and when we were finally outside the theatre it was about eight thirty.

"Let's go get dinner…" He said.

"…No…haven't you spent enough money on me today?"

"No…" He smirked at me. "We missed dinner anyway…and I can't cook…If they left us anything, it's probably pasta…I'm tired of pasta…Aren't you?"

"No…I love pasta…"

"What a liar!" His lips kissed the area near mine. "…Come on…There's a nice place close to here…We can walk there…"

"…Prussia…" I wined.

His lips met mine. "Shhh…Shut up, little miss…You're hungry, aren't you?"

"…No…"

Our mouths met, this time a little longer. "…I'm sure you're getting to understand the rules, aren't you?"

"…Yes…I get it." I sighed. "Why don't you let me make you diner?"

Another kiss.

"Stop that!"

He was laughing. "I'll stop if you come with me."

"Fine…" I had given up.

"Wonderful!" I was thrown over his shoulder and we began walking, everyone looking at us.

"Gilbert! People are watching!"

"They're just jealous. Don't worry…"

"Put me down!"

He kept walking.

"Put me down!" I repeated, kicking him lightly in the thigh.

"That's playing dirty…" He kissed my hip.

I screamed. He laughed.

"Gilbert…"

"What? Why are you so winey?"

"…Please put me down."

"Can I kiss you?"

"No."

"Then, no." He was smiling. I could feel it.

So, I was carried the entire way there…and when we arrived, he put me down, kissing me anyway.

"…Do I have to carry you inside too?"

"I should have you arrested…"

"Yeah, you should, but you're not going to."

I stamped my foot. "You're so annoying! Why the hell did I even come with you?! I just want to smack you!"

"Go ahead."

He laughed when I didn't.

"Come on. It's getting late, little miss." He picked me up again; I screamed. We entered the store and again, my feet were given to the ground. I knocked him in the chest, my blow having little effect.

"What did I tell you about cheating?" He kissed my cheek.

I sighed. We were given a table, again by the window. The moon was visible…It was full and nearly golden.

"…That makes me want to sit outside…"

"It's pretty, isn't it?" I replied.

"Hmm…"

We were greeted by the waiter, and placed our order. Again, Prussia ordered wine. I was surprised, but didn't bother him…We hadn't gotten drunk earlier…It was only a small amount…

And after dinner we went home, once again with Prussia's arm around me…I was feeling mildly intoxicated…I didn't stop him from letting his hand settle on my neck…or his kisses from landing on my face.

We left the carriage and walked to the front door, his hand around my waist. He opened the porthole and let me in first, following my steps. For a moment, we faced one another. My face was becoming red…I knew it was…

He came towards me slowly, taking me into an embrace.

"I love you…" He said.

"You can't say such things to me…" I was whispering, my head resting upon his chest. I could hear his heart beat…My eyes closed.

"…I'd still love you…"

We looked into one another's eyes…My heart raced inside my chest…

Gently, our lips came together. I was holding onto him as if he was the only thing keeping me from death. My fingers dug into his clothing as my mouth fell open…His tongue probed in deep…My eyes nearly rolled back into my head. Slowly, we were moving down the hall towards my room.

The door fell open and we entered our kiss stopping. We stared at each other, another one commencing. His hands were going towards my legs. One of them rose to the height of his waist while his palm moved lower…

We moved towards the bed, and I fell first, landing onto my back. Gilbert was on top of me, still kissing me deeply…His hands worked on my dress, pulling it loose and stopping our mouths to pull it off…and there was my chest. One of his hands took a breast while we continued caressing one another's tongues. My legs wrapped around him…

No…This is…wrong…

His arms took my torso and he moved down, his lips opening and sucking lightly upon my neck, then my collar bone…and finally my breast. He bit me gently…I moaned.

"You sexy woman…" He whispered. His tongue went quickly back to work. Pleasure ran through me in violent surges. I was loosing control.

And Gilbert went lower, kissing my stomach, ripping away my petticoat and finally my undergarments. I was nude…

"No…" I whispered.

He didn't seem to hear. He was removing his own clothing, his blouse falling to the floor first…He unbuttoned his pants, not pulling them off yet…Instead, he came back to me, his hand going in between my legs. His fingers found their way inside, slipping in and out eagerly.

I was nearly screaming…I was throbbing…I was…guilty.

"No…" The rest of my body was twisting with feeling and desire. Where had he learned such tricks? My back arched and I moaned loudly. He was smirking…

"Not bad, huh?" Prussia took his fingers out and removed his trousers. They joined the top of the pile of laundry we were making. The last thing to come off was his cap, which went on the edge of my bed.

"I can't do this…" I said. Tears were coming from my eyes. "…I can't…"

"You've come this far…" He was pulling my waist towards him. "Do you honestly think it makes a difference now?" He spread my legs a little more. "I can feel you, darling…You want this…"

"No…Please…don't…" Prussia was pushing himself in…I began to sob. It was too late…I had betrayed him…It was my fault…Would he find out? If he had…he would leave me…All the other things I had done…they were nothing compared to this… There was no taking this back…Even if he didn't have to know…It would leave a scar…There's no getting rid of scars…

As he moved his hips with mine, I cried…I gripped the bed sheet…I was already begging for my husband's forgiveness…There was no greater love in the world…and I had soiled it.

"I'm sorry…"

Gilbert finished, landing next to me, his chest heaving. Before any words were spoken, he wrapped himself around my quivering body, trying to calm me down…

"Let go of me!" I cried. "…Let me go…"

He stayed, looking at me through sympathetic eyes. He moved a bit of stray hair behind my ear and kissed my cheeks gently.

"Let me go!" I shouted. "Just let me go…"

"…Alright…as you wish…"

And I was left alone, nude and drowning in guilt…


	25. Chapter 25

I had decided to tell my love what had happened…but, instead of including Gilbert's affections, I simply mentioned I was begging him to stop. It was true…Perhaps sparing the details would save my marriage…I could never forgive myself, but at least I would still have Roderich…

The letter was sent, and part of my conscience was clean…

And again, I was back to avoiding Prussia…Of course, I seemed more depressed. I was so worried about my husband's response. How could I not be concerned? He had a right to tell me to never come back…

"Papillon, what's happened now? You've been even more upset than the last few times…"

"…France…"

I was working in my garden…At least my flowers were benefiting from this…

"…Even Prussia's been depressed lately…"

I didn't part my lips; I only pulled a few dead leaves from the soil.

"…Papillon…have I done something to make you hate me?" He asked. "If I did, I'd be a very sad man."

"No…You haven't done anything, France…"

"…Well, what's wrong?" He kneeled down besides me, putting an arm around my shoulders.

"…I had sex with him…"

"What?! Papillon! What's the matter with you?! What did I tell you?!"

"I know! I just…" I started to cry. "…I'm so stupid…"

"No…not stupid, just foolish…" He sighed. "What are you going to do? Are you going to tell your husband?"

"…No…" I wiped my eyes. "I already did…He hasn't answered me back yet…"

"…Oh…well…" France sighed. "…You'll be lucky if he keeps you after something like this…If it were me…I don't think I would…What happened anyway? I mean…to get you to do that…"

I told him the entire story, and ended up sobbing at the end.

"…Hmm…If I don't recall, something like this happened with me, non? Accept…I did what you asked…"

I didn't have anything to say…So, I simply removed more dead leaves in my garden. My vision was still hazy.

"…Papillon…I have some good news…"

"What?"

"…The war is almost over…At least…That's what your husband is trying to do…"

"Really?"

"Yes…He sent us a letter asking for peace…I think Prussia is going to call the whole thing off…but I'm completely sure…"

I wiped away a few tears. "…But what does that mean for me?" I asked. "Will I finally get to go home?"

"…I don't know…but…if not…I'll take you…You can stay at my house a few days and I'll arrange a trip back home for you…Have you ever been to France, Papillon? It's nice…" He smiled at me. "Italy can come too…if he wants to go back…"

I embraced him tightly. "Thank you…Thank you so much…"

"De rien…"

The next letter I got was hard for me to open…It was so large…It must have been filled with words and anger…But I had to read it. My heart was aching…It was the answer to a question I was afraid to ask.

A lot of his response was muddled. Of course, he was upset, but not at me. The words, 'It's not your fault' were repeated several times. I cried reading it, knowing I had lied…but he was still willing to be with me…and it wasn't all untruthful. If I could go home…we could still be together…

I tried to answer his letter, but I didn't have much to say. I was cooped up in my room for nearly two days trying to find something to say. Finally, breaking up my deficiency of words, Prussia came in without knocking. I pretended he wasn't there.

"…I'm sorry…" He started. "…I'm not going to bother making excuses for myself…I…" For a moment, he couldn't continue. "…I'm sorry…I should have listened…because I hate seeing you this way again…but…I love you…I know you won't forgive me…but I do…"

"Please get out of my room…"

He didn't leave.

"Are you deaf or just stupid?! Get out!"

Prussia walked away, closing the door softly behind him. Again, I was in tears.

Finally, I decided I couldn't answer Roderich's letter. I would end up saying something that would drive us apart. He would understand if I didn't answer…My emotions were too much of a mess to muster a coherent response.

A few days later, I was another letter by my husband. It was small. I opened it quickly. All that was written was:

'The war is over. Please find a way to come home. I miss you.'

I began packing my things, the largest suitcase I had filling first. In the event Prussia still wanted to keep me, I would need to travel lightly so I could sneak away with France. I went straight to Italy's room. He was sitting on his bed with his brother, speaking in Italian.

"Pack your things." I said simply. "The war's over…We're going home…"

"…But…Hungary…"

"…Are you coming?"

"…Yes…Can I say good bye to everyone?"

"…Yes…Pack your things."

I left his room, next going to Prussia's office. The doors were shut, but I swung them open, ready to do whatever it took to get home. This was enough.

So, I stood before him, staring. He was mirroring me, his mouth slightly open.

"…The war's over…" He said.

"Let me go home." I swallowed.

Prussia considered it a moment, picking at his lips through gloves hands. His eyes shifted to the ceiling.

"Let me go!" I shouted, streams starting. "Why do you even want me anymore?! You already had me! Just let me go…"

"…I want to know something…Did you…even like me? I mean…I know we had fun together…I really do love you…" He stood, eyes intense. "…Which…is a big deal…because I can honestly say I haven't loved many people…"

"I don't want to play these stupid games! Let me go home!"

"They aren't games!" He shouted. "You've been fucking with me this entire time and I want to know the truth! Were you doing this just to mess with me, because I'm not lying to you! You would lead me on and then push me away…is this fun for you?!" Tears were coming from his eyes, but his face stayed the same. "You can blame me for bringing you here, and trapping you…whatever you want to call it…But give me an answer! You opened your mouth; you let me take off your clothes! And then you tell me to stop?!" His chest was heaving. "Do you really hate me?! Because that's the kind of treatment you give to someone you can't stand!" He fell back into his chair, finally breaking down. "Goddammit…"

It then occurred to me I wasn't the only one hurting…If I would have rejected him the whole time…none of this would have happened…How painful it must have been…wondering if I was simply lying the entire time just to harm him…

"I'm sorry…" I said. "…I shouldn't have led you on…" I wanted to tell him the truth...but I wasn't sure if it would be the best choice. "…Listen…" My voice was becoming gentle. "…I'll tell you…but you can't go around gloating…I don't want anyone to know…because this was never supposed to happen…"

"…Fine…" He was calming down. "…No one will know…You have my word."

I waited a long moment before speaking. "…I did have a lot of fun with you…I liked spending time with you…You're a good kisser…and honestly…if I haven't already found my love…I would probably stay with you…but…I have a husband…I need to go home…I'm happy you feel that way about me…but I can't stay here any longer. My husband was and still is incredibly good to me…and I can't betray him anymore…So there's your answer. Please let me go."

"…Okay… Go...That's all I wanted."

"Thank you…"

Arrangements were made, and the next day, my bags were waiting outside. Italy had his things ready, and carried them in a small sack. France was around me that morning. It would be a long time before I would see any of them again…

When the carriage arrived, everyone gathered outside to say their goodbyes. The only one who wasn't there was Prussia. I hadn't seen him since talking to him in his office.

"Ah, Papillon…It was good to talk to you again." France said, wrapping his arms around me. "If you'd ever like to visit, you're always welcome…You can take your crazy little man as well…"

"Thank you…"

I was set free and Spain stepped forward. "…It was nice to meet you…"

I embraced him. "…It was nice meeting you too…Thank you for everything…"

"It's really nothing."

Then Romano…

"...Bye…"

I smiled and kissed his forehead. "Good bye. Be good."

He looked as if he had turned into a tomato.

I turned to Italy. "…Are you ready to go?"

He nodded. "Yes. Good bye everyone!"

We waved to each other and stepped inside the chariot that would take us home…I was overjoyed. I would finally see my husband…We would have things to work out…and it would be hard…but I was going home…

It was a long ride, and I ended up sleeping most of the way, dreaming about home…I woke up with tears in my eyes.

When we arrived, my heart nearly stopped. There it was…It was beaten and broken, but dammit, there it was. I flew out of the carriage, leaving my things and running as fast as I could to his office. His piano was drifting all through out the house…I was sobbing. It was so good to hear it again after these long weeks…

I found his office and stopped. He would be here…My heart was racing and I was shaking. My hands took the handle and shoved open the door; his music stopped.

We were staring at one another, his gorgeous sapphire eyes wide. I was out of breath, my eyes were misty, and I was about to die because my heart was beating so fast…but I had never been happier…

He stood and walked towards me, the look of shock still living in his eyes. His mouth was open, slightly. "…Lorelei…" At those words, I bounded towards him, taking him deeply into my arms, and was held with just as much love and passion.

And I had forgotten Prussia…Any love I had for him left me as soon as I touched my lips with Roderich's.

"I missed you…" We were between kisses. "I missed you so much…"

"I love you." He told me, squeezing me even tighter. "Thank god you're alright…"

"I love you too…"

And we cried, absorbed in one another's arms. We had lost…Many were dead. But we were together…and I was happy again, something I hadn't been in what seemed like an eternity…


End file.
